As with most letters I write, this will never be sent. It is only meant to let you know how much I hate you. No one has ever pissed me off as much as you have and still do. Yeah, sure the sex is good but the rest sucks. I hate the way we lay in bed talking and laughing like best friends. I hate the way you wipe the tears off my face. I hate the way you rub my back when you know I hurt. I hate the way you touch my face when we kiss. You act like you care and I hate you for it. If you cared you would be here more. I hate the way you say no one makes you feel the way I do. The fact that you can tell me anything and I still love you only makes me hate you more. I hate the way you read my mind. The way you know what I am thinking before I do. I hate the way you hold me in your arms and make me feel safe. I hate the smile on your face when you watch me getting ready to take my dogs out. I hate the way you listen to me when I need to talk. I hate the way you understand better than anyone else. I hate the fact that I can't stop loving you. I hate it when songs on the radio remind me of you and make me smile. I hate the fact that you forgive me for the terrible things I have done to you. I hate the way you understand why I did all those things. I hate the way you treat me with respect. I hate the way that you always come back into my life and I hate myself for letting you. I hate the way that no matter what we do or how hard we try to change our lives and stay away from each other, we always end up together. I hate the fact that we have had so many first times. I hate the way I see you in my dreams. I hate the fact that you are the one I fantasize about. I hate it when you always make me have at least three orgasms every time we have sex. I hate the way you kiss my face in your sleep. I hate it because you can't be comfortable with another woman. I hate you because I am the only one you share your emotions with. I hate you because I am the only woman you can trust. I hate you for making me feel special. I hate you for not getting mad when I ask too many questions during the football game. I hate the way we like the same music. I hate the way we watch the same TV shows. I hate the way you tell me I have nothing to be ashamed of. I hate it when you tell me I'm a good person. I hate the way you love my children. I hate the way you wash my hair in the shower. I hate knowing you love me. I hate the way look at me when I use eye cream before bed and tell me I don't need it. I hate the way we argue and laugh about it. I hate knowing you will call again. I hate being scared that one day you might not. I hate the fact that you always pop into my life when I need you the most. The way you show up when I am feeling lonely and need someone. But most of all, I hate it when you kiss me goodbye because I know it will be a while before I see you again.
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