Porn, Sex, and Work
PART ONE
If everyone was comfortable with themselves, there would be no porn. Most of the porn stars, both men and women suffer from low self esteem. They will never admit it in those words, instead they say they love the attention and making people happy. Same thing. They need the attention desperately and doing porn is the fastest way to get it. They become loved by all. That kind of love doesn't hold your hand when you are dying. That kind of love doesn't want to see you when your age starts showing. It's just another form of instant gratification. I know, I've been there. Not with huge porn hits but I've been around the block more than most when it comes to the sex industry. I loved it at first because all I heard was that I was beautiful and loved. I wasn't loved, my pussy was loved. I was lucky enough to realize the difference. It took a while because as I got into it deeper, I drank more and did more drugs because I was tired of living the lie, being ashamed of myself. Being loved by strangers that aren't even a part of your life is not worth the shame you feel in front of the people you deal with everyday. I feel that way when I walk into a bar. Men look at me and want to fuck. There's nothing wrong with having a one-night-stand, I've had plenty, but it gets old and the thrill of it all leaves quickly and you soon require more alcohol to stop you from punching the bastards trying to pick you up. Yet you keep doing it, hey everyone loves you, it's expected. Then the next day you have to drink even more to forget about the cheap way you let some asshole with nice hair fuck you and the way you fucked him knowing he would always want more just so everyone would be happy and no one would be disappointed but yourself. I mean after all, isn't that what women in their twenties are supposed to be doing. It's expected. We have to please the great cock of America. Too bad most of the time there are no signs of intelligence attached to that cock. Just booze and drugs. Then the women turn 30 and all of sudden we are supposed to know better. What we know is how to fuck better than the twenty something's because we have more experience. That will pay the bills. What else are we supposed to do? Most of us were molested when children or had to use our pussies to survive because no matter what anyone says, it's still a man's world. I personally have never had a job where a male coworker didn't hit on me. Try complaining about that one. Yeah, I've made the mistake of fucking around with coworkers but there's a difference between a mutual attraction and some idiot cornering you daily after you told him you weren't interested. I can handle being hit on once, but if I say I don't want anything more than a work relationship it should stop. But most of time it doesn't. I had one job where this guy kept brushing up against me every chance he got and kept trying to kiss me while another one would come up from behind and put his arms around my waist and tell me I need to give him a try. I complained and was told that I should consider it a compliment. I do the first time, but not the next 100 times. I started going to work trying to look as bad as possible. I would wear turtlenecks when it was summer just so no skin would show. It was my fault because I was sexy. My boss was a sexy man but you didn't see me grabbing his ass and trying to kiss him or telling him how good I could suck his dick. Yeah, sometimes I wish I was ugly. The more these morons tell me I'm beautiful, the uglier I feel.
PART TWO
I can see why I did certain things in my life and see why others do whether or not they are aware of it. I know some women that look at porn too, mainly because some guy kept nagging them until they did and now they think they are supposed to like it or something's wrong with them. I've seen all the shit to. Doesn't do a damn thing for me. I'll watch myself fucking but that's about it. I get off on the real shit, not fantasy. When someone is here touching me and kissing me and making me feel good, I get turned on. Or knowing later in the night or day I am getting it. Watching other people do it just sort of reminds me that I'm not and there's nothing good about that. I know not everyone shares my views. But most people that have had the satisfying sex I have know exactly what I'm talking about. Once you learn to love it with just you and whoever, you don't need all that shit. I can turn myself on and the guy with me. If one of us needs something else, it's wrong to begin with. Most couples that start that swinging shit break up. I'll do whatever the guy wants as long as it's just me and him. In return, he does whatever I want for the same reason. If we disagree on something and one of us doesn't like the idea of something, we find something else. I really believe that relationships cannot work out if the sex is not satisfying. Woman who are too uptight to touch themselves wonder why the man watches masturbation videos. Men that won't lick a woman's pussy wonder why the woman finds someone who will. It's all about communication and trust. Sex is supposed to be about love. But like most things in this world, man has found a way to fuck that up too. I know this may sound odd coming from someone that has slutted around a lot, but hey, that's how I know this shit. After all, I love sex.
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If you would like to see something I have written of a more adult nature for Mensforum click here
