Blonde Jokes

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?? Gifted

Why do blondes wash there hair in the sink?? Because that's where you're suppose to wash vegetables.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?? Shine a flashlight in her ear.

What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?? They're fucked when they're on their backs.

How can you tell if a blondes been using the computer?? There's white out on the screen.

What do a blonde and your computer have in common?? You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Why don't blondes eat jello?? They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?? They need somewhere to rest their ankles.

Why don't blondes use vibrators?? They chip their teeth.

Why do blondes wear underwear?? They make good ankle warmers.

Why do blondes have TGIF on there shoes?? Toes go in first.

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?? Introduce themselves.

Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?? More leg room.

What do blondes say after sex?? Thanks guys.

What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?? Thanks for the refill.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?? What's a lightbulb??

What does a blonde and a 747 have in common?? They both have a black box.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $20 bill, who pickls it up?? The dumb blonde, because there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.

Why did the blonde stop using the pill?? Because it kept falling out.

What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?? they know how many men went down on The Titanic.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?? Bigfoot has been spotted.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?? You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball.

What's the difference between a blonde woman and a man?? The blonde has a higher sperm count.

What's the difference between a blonde and tootbrush?? You don't let your bestfriend borrow your toothbrush.

What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?? One is a bunch of cunning runts....

What's the difference between a blonde and a limo?? Not everyone has been in a limo.

Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?? Because you can drop your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for a week.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?? The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?? So she could lip read.

How do you drown a blonde?? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Why do blondes have square boobs?? Because they forgot to take the tissue out of the box.

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?? For throwing out the W's.

How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?? The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?? Nice tits.

Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?? Because when they do the splits they stick to the floor.

Why do blondes have legs?? So that they don't leave a snail trail.

What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?? The Blonde.

What did the blonde say when she was asked if she had ever been picked up by the fuzz?? No but I've been swung around by the tits.

What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?? A sweet fuck.

What do you call a blonde skeleton inside the closet?? Last years hide and seek champion.

Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?? So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.

What do you see when you look into's a blonde's eyes?? The back of her head.

Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?? A blonde electrician.

What did the blonde do when she got her period?? Looked aound for the bastard that must have shot her.

How do you drive a blonde crazy?? Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them.

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A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss may I see your drivers liscence please??" "Driver's Liscence?? What's that??" "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh duh, here it is...." "May I have your car insurance??" "What's that??" "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this?? Duh, here you go.." The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims.."Oh no, not another breathalyzer test."

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Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"