Question & Answer Jokes
Why was Ragedy Anne kicked out of the toy pen?? Because she kept sitting on pinnochio's face saying "Lie to me, Lie to me!!"
What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common?? The longer you play with them the harder they get.
What is 6.9?? Good sex interrupted by a period.
What's green, slimy and smells like pork?? Kermit The Frog's dick.
What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?? Wipe it off and say your sorry.
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?? Gee we really do taste like chicken.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?? Lickalotopus.
How are pubic hairs like parsley?? You push them aside before you eat.
What is the difference between an airship and 365 blow jobs?? Ones a GoodYear and the other is an excellent year.
What's the ultimate definition of courage?? Two cannibals having oral sex.
How do you tell if you have a high sperm count?? Your date has to chew before she swallows.
How do you recycle a condom?? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Why are electric trains like Mother's breast?? They are designed for kids but its the Fathers who are always playing with them.
If you get malaria from mosquitos and lime disease from ticks, what do you get AIDS from?? Asshoppers.
What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?? A 40 foot cock that wants to reach out and toch somebody.
What kind of bee produces milk?? A boobie.
What is the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch.
What did the worm say to the caterpillar?? Who'd you have to fuck to get that coat.
Did you hear At&T bought out Hoover Vacuum, their new motto is reach out and suck someone.
What did the left leg say to the right leg?? Look out for that guy in the middle he's a real dick.
Do you know what an australlian kiss is?? A french kiss but down under.
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?? Topsoil.
What three words doesn't a wife want to hear when she's having sex?? Honey I'm Home.
Do you know how a man enjoys rodeo sex?? He goes home mounts his wife from behind, then tells her this is how his secretary likes .... then he tries to stay on for 8 seconds.
Do you know how men and floor tiles are alike?? If you lay them right the first time you can walk on them for the rest of your life.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?? Why are you shaking....she's gonna eat me!
What's the difference between light and hard?? You can sleep with the light on.
What do condoms and cameras have in comon?? They both capture the moment.
What do you do when a pollock throws a grenade at you?? Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you call gay midget?? A low blow.
What does and elephant use for a tampon?? A sheep.
What do you call a black lady with braces?? Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker.
What's 69 and 69?? Dinner for four.
Why don't chickens wear underwear?? Cause their peckers are on their faces.
What's worse then lobsters on your piano?? Crabs on your organ.
What's worse than being raped by Jack The Ripper?? Being fingered by Captain Hook.
When does a Cub become a Boy Scout?? After he eats his first Brownie.
What's the difference between like and love?? Spit and swallow.
How do you know a female bartender is pissed at you?? When she brings you a bloody mary there's a string hanging out of it.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?? Hang on this is no ordinary blow job.
What is better than a rose on your piano?? Two lips on your organ.
What is the definition of pure agony?? Fucking a meat mincer.
Which of the following don't belong.....meat, eggs, wife, or blowjob?? A blowjob, cause you can beat your wife, your eggs, and your meat, but you can't beat a blowjob.
What do a christmas tree and a priest have in common?? The balls are for decoration only.
Why do women like to play pac man?? Cause they can get eaten three times for a quarter.
What's the definition of a wicker box?? It is what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.
What's the area between the pussy and the rear?? Chin rest.
What did Adam say to Eve?? You better stand back I don't know how big this thing is gonna get.
Why do women have two holes so close together?? Incase you miss.
Who makes more money a hooker or a drug dealer?? A hooker cause she can clean her crack and resell it.
What did one lesbian vampire say to another lebian vampire?? See you again next month.
What does a martini and a woman's breast have in common?? One is not enough and three are too many.
Why are babies so fragile?? The are put together by one screw.
Why do jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?? Full.
What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?? A whore will sleep with everyone at a party and a bitch will sleep with everyone but you.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?? The taste.
What do you call a truck full of vibrators?? Toys for Twats.
What is a yankee?? It's the same as a quickie but a guy can do it alone.
What do gay men refer to hemmoroids as?? Speed bumps.
What do you do incase of fallout?? Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?? Well hung.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?? They are hard to get started, they omit noxious odours and half the time they don't work.
What did the doctor say to the prostitute?? Stay out of bed for two days.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?? A widow.