Guide To Computer Lingo

Log On:                         Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off:                         Don't add no wood.
Monitor:                        Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download:                    Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz:                  When yer not careful down loadin'.   
Floppy Disk:                 Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram:                            The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive:                  Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt:                       What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows:                    What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen:                       What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte:                           That's what the flies do.
Chip:                          What to munch on.
Micro Chip:                What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared:                     Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem:                     What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix:                 Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top:                    Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard:                  Where ya hang your keys.
Software:                   Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse:                      Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame:             Hold up the barn roof.
Port:                          Fancy wine.
Enter:                        C'mon in.
Random Access Memory:     You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.