You're In A Redneck Hospital When....

Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.

Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.

Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.

Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.

Your Gynecologist is Ernest.

Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.

Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.

Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.