Susie The Parrot

Mary Alice Riley, an elderly, devout, Irish Catholic spinster decides that she wants a pet. She goes to the pet store and is taken with a beautiful parrot. The owner warns her "Mary Alice, that bird is not for you." Still she wants to buy it and asks why it is not for her.
The owner confesses that the parrot has a bad mouth. Mary Alice, however, is confident that she can train the bird to speak in a decent manner so she insists on buying it.

She takes the bird home and that night she invites two priests from the local parish and a few women friends over for dinner. She uncovers her new bird to show it off. As soon as she removes the cover, the parrot pipes up "My name is Susie and I love to fuck."

Mary Alice is mortified. There is shocked silence, but after a few minutes Father Murphy calls Mary aside. "Don't be upset, Mary" he says. "It's not your fault what this parrot has learned before you got her. We have two male parrots at our parsonage who we have
trained to hold the Rosary beads and to say the Rosary. I'll be happy to take Susie to our place for a few days so she can live in the cage with Harold and John and learn pious ways from them."

So Susie is taken to the parsonage. She is put into the cage with Harold and John. The two male parrots who are in the process of saying their Rosary. She immediately declares "My name is Susie and I love to fuck."

Harold replies "Drop the beads John, our prayers have been answered!"