Sharon's Kitchen Secrets


POEM

          Cooking has always been an activity which I totally enjoy.  When after reading a new recipe; if  my
          mouth is watering,  I have to try it.  It is difficult for me not to change a recipe, so I have to work hard
          at doing this the first time round. The next time inadvertently I will change it somehow; I call this :
          "my fine-tuning". Only then if it is "wonderful" does it get written in my "kitchen secrets" book; which is now
          about thirty years young. As the children grew up and moved away, each in turn wanted copies of
          their favorites, from the secret book. So whether it's turkey dinner for 45; or an intimate gourmet
          meal for four; I'm sure that some of these will make your "mouth water" as you read them; so do try a
          few. Most of these are just good basic cooking.. with six children they were also usually fast and easy.
This is not an attempt at a cookbook; just a sharing of some really good recipes.. enjoy.  I am one of those cooking nuts who enjoy food from around the world.  Must have over 70 spices on hand and use them all.  Am starting with good home style basic cooking. The " memory makers".
I have many more favorite recipes and will add them from time to time.
If you have any questions:  mail to:birz@bancom.net

 
Please note: You may scroll down through all the recipes or use the following *specific recipe names to go to that one. If you are not near a group of butterflies to take you "home" when you're done just scroll down a bit and you'll come across a group waiting to help you get back "home".
thankyou Sharon


 CAKE - SQUARES - COOKIES

*OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CAKE
          *WINDBLOWN CAKE
          *RICKETY UNCLE'S
          *Angela's APPLE CAKE
           *RICH CHEESE CAKE

          EGGS

*EASY CHEESE SOUFFLÉ'
 

          FISH

*SHRIMP MOLD
          *MOM'S SALMON RECIPE
          *DELICIOUS BAKED SALMON
          *BBQ SWORDFISH

          MEAT

*PERFECT PRIME RIB ROAST
*TOM'S PORK CHOPS
*HONEY GLAZED SPARERIBS
*RED MEAT
*REALLY GOOD LASAGNA

        SALADS

*SPINACH VEGGIE DIP WITH PUMPERNICKEL BREAD
*SUMMER TOMATO - CUCUMBER - CAULIFLOWER SALAD

        SANDWICHES

*TINA TUNA MELT

        VEGETABLES

*BAKED POTATOES with CARROTS, SWEET POTATOES and more.

          SOUP

*FRESH ASPARAGUS SOUP

         PICKLES

*BREAD  & BUTTER PICKLES
 
 
 
 


          OATMEAL CHOCOLATE CAKE

 
          This a recipe from my Mom. If you are looking for an easy one pan cake, (you can make it with a
          mixer but hey, who needs the extra washing up), that cuts well, is moist and not crumbly, this is it.
          Great for lunch boxes.

          9" x 12" pan   350°  40-45 min.

          1 cup of rolled oats
          2 cups of boiling water
          1 cup of margarine/shortening
          3 cups brown sugar
          2 tsp. vanilla
          2 cups of flour
          2 tsp. baking powder
          2 tsp. baking soda
          8 tbl.spns. Fry's cocoa powder
          pinch of salt
          4 eggs (gently whisked)

          Place rolled oats, margarine/shortening, cocoa into the pan you plan to bake in, add the boiling
          water, stir with a fork until margarine/butter has melted and things are mixed well. Then add sugar
          and vanilla, mix well. Add eggs mix well; add flour slowly, stirring it in as you go. Finally stir in the
          baking powder, baking soda and salt. Mix well, and bake till a toothpick comes clean from the
          centre.  I always ice this cake with the "chocolate fudge frosting" on the side of the Fry's Cocoa can.
          Which is : Melt  1/2 cup of butter in microwave, mix in  1 cup of cocoa, make paste, add about 2 cups
          of icing sugar, beat well, add 1 tsp. vanilla and as much icing sugar as you need to make thick, up to
          a pound total of sugar. beat till smooth and very creamy.
          A chocoholics dream come true.
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          WINDBLOWN CAKE

 
          When we were kids growing up on the North Shore of Lake Superior, fresh eggs were hard to come
          by, so to think of making a cake that took nothing but a dozen egg whites to make it light and fluffy
          like an angel cake was hard to fathom. This is my mom's recipe which gives you a wonderful light
          cake.

          Large angel food cake pan    300° to 325° for 40 min.

          3 eggs separated
          egg whites stiffly beaten
          3/4 cup cold water
          1/4 cup of white sugar
          1 1/2 cups of cake flour
          1 tsp. baking powder
          1 tsp. vanilla
          pinch of salt

          Beat 3 egg yolks, add 3/4 cup of cold water, beat till light and fluffy, looks like  about a quart. Add the
          sugar slowly in three parts beating constantly. mix in flour, baking powder, add vanilla and salt. Beat
          well. Fold in stiff egg whites.
          Bake in a slow oven. Turn pan upside down on rack and let cake fall out as it cools. Ice with your
          favorite frosting.
 


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          RICKETY UNCLES

 
          This is a recipe from Tom's mom, seems she was making cookies when her children were small
          and forgot something and the children all liked it better than what it was supposed to be. It is pressed
          into a cookie sheet and cut into squares before it cools.

          Cookie sheet  325° for approx. 10 min. watch edges carefully for burning.

          3/4 cup shortening
          1 cup brown sugar
          1 cup rolled oats
          1 cup of flour
          1 tsp. salt
          1 tsp. vanilla

          Blend well so that the mixture is crumbly not dry.. like pastry. Press into pans with fork


 

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          Angela's APPLE CAKE


          They don't get much easier or tastier than this one. I call it this because my best friend Angela (who
          passed away last year) gave it to me. It always makes me remember all the good times we shared.

          9" x !2" pan  350°     45  mins.

          1 cup of oil
          1 cup of sugar
          4 eggs
          1/2 cup of water
          2 1/2 cup of flour
          3 tsp. baking powder
          1 tsp. vanilla
          Mix the above ingredients together for the batter.
          10 sliced apples
          1/2 tsp. cinnamon
          1/4 cup sugar
          Toss these three together.
          Place half of the batter in the pan;  place the apples on top; add the rest of the batter on top of the
          apples, bake. serve warm with vanilla ice cream.
 
 
 

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          RICH CHEESE CAKE


          We have such a plethora of wonderful fruit both wild and cultivated that invariably there is always a
          good choice tucked away each year in the freezer for winter use. This is not a sweet light cheese
          cake; but a thick wonderful european stick to the roof  of your mouth cheese cake, which goes with
          all fruit.

          I make it in a large spring form pan.    350° for   50 min   then   450° for 15 min.

          Your choice of crumb crust or

          Here's a Basic Crumb Recipe:

          1/4 cup butter
          1 1/3  cup of crumbs
          1/4 cup sugar

          Soften the butter, add the sugar and butter to the crumbs. press into pan. Bake at 375° for  8 min.
          Cool before using.

          3 - 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese
          1 1/2 cups of sugar
          1/8 tsp. of salt
          4 eggs
          1 tsp. vanilla

          Soften cheese in bowl. Blend in  sugar; add salt, beat till fluffy, add vanilla, add eggs one at a time.
          Beating well each time. pour onto crust, bake 350° for 50 min. till centre firm.

          Mean while mix together:
          2 cups of sour cream
          1 tsp. vanilla
          1/4 cup sugar

          Spread over baked cake top and bake 450° for 15 min.
          Let cool; remove from pan.

          TOPPING

          14 oz. of fruit
          3/4 cup juice/water
          2 tsp. corn starch
          2 tsp. lemon juice
          Bring above to boil, turn heat down and thicken slowly.
          Let cool slightly. pour on top of cake. Chill preferably overnight; but at least 2 hours.
          cut into small wedges, about 16 as this is very rich.
 

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HOME

          For years I didn't try soufflé's; or rather I did but was never happy with the results. This is an old basic
          recipe of Tom's moms which works every time and is so very easy and delicious.


          CHEESE SOUFFLÉ'


          Bake 325°  20 min.

          2 tblspn of melted butter
          3 tblspn flour
          Mix the above two together with a whisk

          Gradually add
          !/2 cup of scalded milk
          !/2 tsp. salt
          dash of cayenne pepper
          1/4 to 1/2 cup of grated old cheddar cheese.
          Whisk above together till smooth and creamy. set to cool.

          I do the above in the microwave in a glass measuring cup.

          3 eggs separated
          Whisk the  yolks till lemon coloured.
          Add yolks to the above cooled mixture and blend in smoothly.

          Beat the whites until stiff and dry
          Fold in egg whites.

          "Pam spray"  soufflé' dish

          Bake


 
 
 

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          SHRIMP MOLD

 
          This can be made with any tinned /fresh seafood. I am always asked how to make this one when I
          take it to any ones home. Easy and delicious. Serve with tiny crackers. I generally make it with the tins of
          of salad shrimp pieces.

          1 pkg. 8 oz. cream cheese
          1 pkg. unflavored gelatin
          1 tin tomato soup
          1/2 cup finely chopped celery
          1/4 cup finely chopped green onion
          2  tins 5 oz. shrimp

          Heat soup in microwave. Sprinkle gelatin on top whisk in after 30 seconds. Add cream cheese.
          Whisk till smooth. Add onions and celery and shrimp. Stir in gently. Pour in mold. I often just put it in a
          fancy glass bowl; never mind all this mold stuff.
          Chill several hours.
          Try this one for your next gathering, it'll surprise you.


 
 
 

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          MOM'S SALMON RECIPE


This has to be one of the easiest and most delicious creamy dishes invented.  I always keep a couple of tins of red sockeye salmon on hand for this one. It is so useful if someone unexpected pops in;  always gets rave reviews.  I have tried it with fresh salmon but for some reason the tinned tastes better. Looks too easy to be so good.

2 tins of red sockeye salmon  (debone and flake)
3 tblspns. butter
3 tblspns. cornstarch
2 cups of milk
3 tblspns. minced green onion
salt and pepper
1 cup of finely crushed soda crackers
3 tblspns. butter

I always make this in the microwave. The sauce I make in a glass measuring cup.

Sauce:
Melt the first three tblspns. of butter, whisk in cornstarch, add milk, whisk, put in microwave on high for 30 sec - to 1 min. Whisk.. repeat this until white sauce is smooth and creamy.
Add salt "n pepper to taste. Add minced green onions.

I use a 8 x 8 " corel dish with 4" sides ; which I "pam" well.
Place 1/2 of the salmon on the bottom, cover with 1/2 of the crackers. pour over 1/2 sauce. Repeat.
Pour last of sauce on top.( one layer in a larger pan also works well.)
Sprinkle with a bit of paprika and parsley for colour.
Dot with remaining butter.
Cover
Zap (microwave) med-hi for about 10 min.

I always serve this with a rice brown/basmati mixture. Something green beans or spinach. Wonderful!
 
 

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DELICIOUS BAKED SALMON







Now this is the recipe for fresh salmon. Another one that is so simple and tastes so good that people always ask for the recipe.

Line a cookie sheet with foil. Leave edges sticking out for tenting.
Spray it with "pam" vegetable oil spray.

450°            20 min.

1 1/4 pounds of fresh salmon filet
1 fresh lemon; sliced very thinly cross ways, de-seeded.
1 large white/yellow onion; sliced very thinly cross ways
salt 'n pepper

Place the filet skin down on sprayed pan.
Lightly spray the filet with the vegetable oil spray.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper lightly

Arrange the lemon slices covering the whole filet.
Arrange the onion slices covering the lemon slices.

I then take the foil edges and lightly tent them over the filet. Does not have to be tightly sealed.

Bake in pre-heated oven about 20 minutes, or until the centre is just cooked through. As with all fish, over cooking ruins it.
This is also a delicious way to do Arctic Char.. if you ever get a chance to try char ; believe it or not it is better than salmon.

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BBQ SWORDFISH

This also works well for shark; or any other firm steak fish.

1 lb. swordfish (at least 1" thick steaks)
2 tblspns. soya sauce
2 tblspns. orange juice
1 tblspn. oil
1 tblspn. ketchup
1 tblspn. minced parsley
1 chopped clove of garlic
1/2 tblspn. lemon juice
1/4 tsp. oregano
1/4 tsp. pepper

Mix all together; pour over fish, marinade one hour; turn fish over every 15 min.

Heat grill
Grill about 8 min. Turn over.  Baste with marinade. Cook another 7 - 10 min. until done.

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PERFECT PRIME RIB

This is so easy it's ridiculous. It is great for any good cut of roast; but not a pot roast. They require slow cooking.

Preheat oven to 500°
One roast cold from fridge.
Sprinkle with flour all over and rub into meat.
Salt and pepper lightly.
Place in shallow pan; tent loosely with foil to prevent spatters.

Cook using the following chart:
Rare  8   minutes   per pound
Med.   9   minutes   per pound
Well done  10 minutes per pound.

When time is up; turn off oven BUT DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR.
Leave at least one hour but can be left up to 3.

I generally just put it in just after lunch time; turn it off; when I start supper I take it out heat the oven to 250° or so.  Wrap the roast  in the foil, and pop it in to reheat. Then I have the drippings and can make gravy or yorkshire pudding.
 
 

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TOM'S PORK CHOPS






These are easy and surprisingly tasty.

350°  for  1 1/2 hr.

6  pork chops browned lightly both sides; place in a baking pan.
Top with sliced peppers, onions, tomatoes. all or one; what ever is on hand.

Mix together in a bowl
1/2 cup chili sauce
3 tblspns. brown sugar
4 tblspns. vinegar
2 tblspns. dijon mustard
1 tblspn of Worcestershire sauce.

Pour over meat and veggies.

Cover with foil and bake 11/2 hours.

I often thicken the sauce with a tad of cornstarch and serve with rice. and of course a fresh veggie.
 
 

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HONEY GLAZED RIBS

This is a recipe from my Mom; all my children have asked for this recipe when they left the nest. their friends have it, for that matter so do all my friends, and now my cyber friends can also. It is NOT a hot spicy recipe, just rounded, easy and delicious. When ribs come on sale; I have been known to purchase at least ten pounds of them. It is absolutely ridiculous to cook ribs for two people. So I came up with this idea that works so well; I know other's do the same; now.

The sauce recipe is for about 3-4 lb.. of ribs. I generally triple it for 10 or so pounds.
First I cut all the ribs up into serving pieces. Put them in a large pot; cover them with water; bring it to a boil; put the lid on and simmer on a low heat for about 2 hours.

Sauce: for 3-4 lbs.
1/2 cup of honey
1 cup of ketchup
1/4 cup of soya sauce
4 crushed cloves of garlic

Heat ingredients and whisk till smooth.
Remove from heat.
 

Now;  after ribs have finished simmering; drain the water.
Pour the sauce over the ribs and stir, coating well.

At this stage the ribs can be refrigerated or frozen. I usually take two hungry people's worth of ribs and put them in a zip lock freezer bag.  Add some of the loose extra sauce on top. Then all my mini bags go into a larger one labeled RIBS and get frozen. (this way I don't loose any in the freezer, which has a habit of hiding things; so no one can find them till a year later)

When I want to have ribs; I remove however many packages as needed, early in the morning or the night before to thaw and marinate. Taking them out of the bag, I place them on a foil lined pan
( saves the sticky clean-up job) and  Bake at 400° until nicely browned. turn and brown the other side. Add extra sauce when you turn them, if you have some. These can also be broiled about 6" from the elements.
 
 

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RED MEAT

My Mom called it Red Meat; I call it Red Meat and my kid's call it Red Meat; therefore it is Red Meat and easy and good.

I do this one in the pressure cooker; but I'm sure if it was in the oven, covered done slow it would do fine also.

1 pc. of steak enough for 4 people. I usually use round steak/ blade or actually any which is cheap and has little fat.
Trim off all the fat;  I usually leave the bone in in round steak but not in blade steak.
Cut into large serving pieces as it does shrink.
Put in pot.
Slice 2 onions.
Put in pot
Mix one can of tomato soup with one can of water.
Pour in pot.
Add pepper; soup has enough salt.
I usually add a dash of cayenne pepper; but depending on your taste buds you could add some chili pepper also.

Put lid on cooker; bring up to steam. Cook for 30 min. with valve rocking slowly.
If done in oven I'd go about 325° for 4 hours.. check to make sure the liquid doesn't dry up.
Serve with or on mashed potatoes with some green beans or peas.
 
 


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REALLY GOOD LASAGNA






Everyone has their own idea about lasagna, my own is if you are going to go through making it; first of all make it delicious, and second make enough to freeze some for another time. This is a wonderful recipe.. so good I threw out all of my old lasagna recipes and have made only this one for at least 20 years.

1 lb. lean minced beef
1 lb. lean minced pork
2 lg. onions chopped
3 lg. cloves of garlic crushed and minced
1  28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
1  5 1/2 oz. can of tomato paste
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ea. of basil, sage, oregano, thyme
1/2 tsp. of pepper
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
3/4 cup red wine
1 chicken bouillon cube

1 pkg. cooked lasagna noodles ( I cook these, then place them in cold water till I'm ready)

1/2 cup of chopped fresh parsley
1 large cottage or ricotta cheese
1 cup grated parmesan cheese
2 eggs

1 lb. thin sliced or shredded mozzarella cheese

In a good sized pot place meats, onions and garlic. Brown and then drain off fat if your meat wasn't as lean as it looked. Add tomatoes, wine, spices, tomato paste and bouillon cube crumbled. Simmer uncovered till thick.

Mix eggs, parsley. cottage cheese and parmesan cheese together.

Assemble layers in "pam" sprayed pan.  I use a rectangular 10 x 17 x 3 1/2" pan.
Place just a bit of sauce in the bottom;  1/2 the noodles; 1/2 the sauce; 1/2 the egg/cheese mix; 1/2 the mozzarella. Repeat.

Bake 350° covered for 35 min. then uncover for 15 more minutes.
Let stand for 15 min. b-4 cutting.

After the first meal;  I cool the lasagna and cut it into serving pieces and freeze for later enjoyment. GREAT WITH A CAESAR SALAD
 
 

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SPINACH VEGGIE DIP WITH PUMPERNICKEL BREAD

All my nieces and nephews really enjoy this.; so do the adults.

1 pkg. of dried vegetable or leek soup
300g pkg. frozen spinach thawed; squeeze out juice and chop fine.
2 cups sour cream
1 cup of Mayonnaise ( I really like Hellman's)
1 can of diced  water chestnuts, chop fine
3 green onions chopped
mix well and let meld at least 2 hours in the fridge.
Place in a pretty bowl on a plate and surround with torn  bit size pc.s of pumpernickel bread.
You can also hollow out the centre of the round pumpernickel reserving the pieces for dipping and put the dip in the bread.. we find this gets too soggy and no one eats the soggy bread. Nice presentation though.
 
 

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TOMATO - CUCUMBER - CAULIFLOWER SALAD

This is delicious when the items are just fresh out of the garden. I do make it in the winter but then I peel the cucumber.

There should be about 1/3 of approximately of each:
1 english style seedless cucumber quartered lengthwise then sliced.
1/2  small cauliflower in very small flowerettes.  chop the stem sections and use them also.
2 or 3 ripe tomatoes chopped
mix together
add
3 chopped green onions
about 2 tblspns. each of freshly chopped basil and parsley.

Add just enough to coat of Kraft  Garden Tomato and Basil Dressing.
Make early so it can meld in the fridge awhile.

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TINA TUNA MELT





The only reason this sandwich is in existence is I used to go to a restaurant years ago; this was the only thing on their menu I really enjoyed. One day I went; there was a new menu :-( no Tina Tuna Melt. It took me a year to get the flavors right. Try it; especially when the tomato is very ripe and just picked.
Makes about four sandwiches.
I tin of solid white tuna
2 green onions chopped
1/4 cup of chopped green sweet pepper
2 tblspns finely chopped celery
2 mushrooms chopped.
place everything but the tuna in a microwaveable bowl and zap on high for two minutes. drain
add the tuna and mix well
Now to this add 1 tblspn of sweet green relish
salt & pepper
a large dash of Worcestershire
Mix well
Add just enough mayonnaise to make a thick mix ;
Set aside.
Cook enough bacon crispy so each sandwich has three slices (12)
Cut two panni rolls in half
Put 1/2 on each plate. Plate should be oven proof.
Top with tuna mix; top tuna with thickly sliced tomato; top tomatoes with three slices of bacon;
Cover the bacon with 1/4 in. thick old cheddar cheese; sprinkle cheese with granulated garlic.
Place plates on a cookie sheet and put under the broiler till the cheese melts and runs down the sides.  Eat with a knife and fork; remember the plate is HOT. Delicious.
 
 

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BAKED POTATOES WITH CARROTS, SWEET POTATOES and more

Most of the time I steam our veggies; alternately they're in a stew, or baked around a roast.  During the cold winter i will make this wonderful hearty dish. It's worth a try.

4 large potatoes peeled and cubed 1"
2 sweet potatoes peeled and cubed 1"
3 large carrots peeled, halved lengthwise, sliced 1/2" thick
1 large yellow onion ; peeled chopped coarsely 1" pc.s
1 green/red sweet pepper diced
1/2 of a small winter turnip / rudabega cubed 1"
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper
Toss everything in oil; place in oiled baking pan; cover tightly with foil.
Bake 30 min.  350° uncover and stir; bake 30 more min. uncovered or till tender.
If the pan is dry add a bit more oil or water.
Sometimes I will drizzle it with a bit of maple syrup before serving. Hearty and delicious.
 
 

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FRESH ASPARAGUS SOUP

1 lb. fresh asparagus
2 or 3 green onion chopped
1 1/2 cups chicken broth
1/2 tsp. salt
pepper
real sour cream
2 tblspns. butter
2 tblspns. flour
1 cup milk
1 cup cream
dash nutmeg & paprika

An asparagus will snap when bent at the spot where the tender good part ends. Throw the tough short ends in the compost.  Trim 1 1/4 " off each tip and set aside.  Cut the spears into thirds.
Add onions, tips to the broth; bring to a boil and simmer covered for 5 min. Remove with slotted spoon; set aside. Add cut stalks to broth; bring back to a boil; simmer covered for 10-15 min. till tender. Cool slightly then process till pureed.
Melt butter, blend in flour, stir in milk, then cream , then puree asparagus/broth mix. Heat slow and gentle over low heat till thick. Stir often to prevent sticking, use a double boiler or use microwave.
When thick and hot stir in nutmeg.
Pour into heated bowls. Garnish with tips, dollop of sour cream (alternate would be sprinkle with parmesan cheese); sprinkle with paprika.
 
 

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BREAD 'N BUTTER PICKLES

Have made these delicious pickles for years. Hints to receive a jar start long before the cucumbers are ready to pick. They're easy and always delicious. I now use my Suyo Long seedless cukes; but have also made them with young thin Straight 8 variety; and baby dill size. All worked well.

6 lb.. of cucumbers, washed, blossom end removed; and sliced 1/4 " thick.
1 1/2 cups of thinly sliced onions
2 large garlic cloves left whole
1/3 cup coarse pickling salt
4 trays of ice cubes
4 1/2 cups of white sugar
1 1/2 tsp.. of turmeric and celery seed
1 tblspn white mustard seed
1 tblspn black mustard seed ( if you can't find the black use all white)
3 cups of white pickling vinegar

Place cucumbers, garlic, salt and ice in a large stainless steel bowl stir; cover with a folded tea towel; place in a cool place 3 hours or overnight (I usually do them the evening before; let them sit till morning then continue)
Drain off the liquid; remove the garlic.
Combine the sugar, spices and vinegar in a large stainless steel pot. Heat to boil.
Add cucumber and onion slices; simmer 10 minutes. Stir

Pack pickles with liquid loosely in clean hot pint jars, leaving 1/2 " headroom. Remove air bubbles with a thin spatula down the sides. Adjust lids and process jars in Boiling - water bath 212° F. for 10 min.
Makes about 7 pints.
 
 

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Raisin Pie

               There's a heap of pent-up goodness in the yellow bantam corn,
               And I sort o' like to linger round a berry patch at morn;
               Oh, the Lord has set our table with a stock o' things to eat
               An' there's just enough o' bitter in the blend to cut the sweet,
               But I run the whole list over, an' it seems somehow that I
               Find the keenest sort o' pleasure in a chunk o' raisin pie.

               There are pies that start the water circulatin' in the mouth;
               There are pies that wear the flavor of the warm an' sunny south;
               Some with oriental spices spur the drowsy appetite
               An' just fill a fellow's being with a thrill o' real delight;
               But for downright solid goodness that comes drippin' from the sky
               There is nothing quite the equal of a chunk o' raisin pie.

               I'm admittin' tastes are diff'runt, I'm not settin' up myself
               As the judge an' final critic of the good things on the shelf.
               I'm sort o' payin' tribute to a simple joy on earth,
               Sort o' feebly testifyin' to its lasting charm an' worth,
               An' I'll hold to this conclusion till it comes my time to die,
               That there's no dessert that's finer than a chunk o' raisin pie.

           by Edgar Guest
 

AND . . .
 

The Gourmet's Love-Song

          How strange is Love: I am not one
               Who Cupid's power belittles,
          For Cupid 'tis who makes me shun
               My customary victuals.
          Of, Effie, since that painful scene
               That left me broken-hearted,
          My appetite, erstwhile so keen,
               Has utterly departed.

          My form, my friends observe with pain,
               Is growing daily thinner.
          Love only occupies the brain
               Tha once could think of dinner.
          Around me myriad waiters flit,
               With meat and drink to ply men;
          Alone, disconsolate, I sit,
               And feed on thoughts of Hymen.

          The kindly waiters hear my groan,
               They strive to charm with curry;
          They tempt me with a devilled bone --
               I beg them not to worry.
          Soup, whitebait, entrées, fricasees,
               They bring me uninvited.
          I need them not, for what are these
               To one whose life is blighted?

          They show me dishes rich and rare,
               But ah! my pulse no joy stirs,
          For savouries I've ceased to care,
               I hate the thought of oysters.
          They bring me roast, they bring me boiled,
               But all in vain they woo me;
          The waiters softly mutter, 'Foiled!'
               The chef, poor man, looks gloomy.

          So, Effie, turn that shell-like ear,
               Nor to my sighing close it,
          You cannot doubt that I'm sincere --
               This ballad surely shows it.
          No longer spurn the suit I press,
               Respect my agitation,
          Do change your mind, and answer, 'Yes',
               And save me from starvation.

               by  P.G. Wodehouse

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