~*death to censorship*~

I just wanted to make my position on censorship--and breeders' starring role in the entire matter--perfectly clear.

The plain truth is that I despise censorship advocates who want to make everything "safe for the children". I've been receiving quite a bit of pro-censorship mail lately. The whole issue becomes particularly ridiculous when applied to the media. TV has to be sanitized for the children. Every corner of the Internet must be made safe for the children. Recording artists are called upon to make their lyrics more appropriate for children. Graphic artists are urged to stop producing "disturbing" images. Even eBay and its ilk aren't safe--online auction sites are under attack in some circles for daring to offer merchandise that isn't (you guessed it) child-friendly.

Here's what I think:

It's high time that somebody handed these censorship-loving, baby-worshipping jackasses a clue. Just because a witless posse of breeders has decided to bless the earth with their snot-chewing hellspawn does NOT give them the right to legislate public morality (as if these brain-dead cretins were intelligent enough to comprehend moral issues in the first place).

It's not the childfree people who are continuously getting up in arms about the dual dangers of free speech and free marketing. It's always the self-righteous breeders who get mouthy about wanting to keep everything safe "for the children". What bullshit. Safe for the children, my ass. Safe for the BREEDERS is more like it. Their brains can't absorb anything beyond pre-school level, and they're just jealous that the rest of us can actually read and think.

The bottom line is that children have nothing to do with the current pro-censorship hysteria. Here's a theory: I suspect that most parents operate on a clinical infantile regression mode. Think about it. They're professional losers. They cannot handle REAL adult input on any conceivable level. So they spawn children, instead. It's not as if it takes any brains or talent. This way, these mental midgets get to remain surrounded by baby blankets, diapers, kiddie toys, peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches, children's television, and the omnipresent babyshit. These things will effectively keep them sheltered from the realities of the adult world, in which they are not mentally equipped to survive. When one kid outgrows the baby toys, watch how fast the average breeder will shit out another kid to make up for it. What sane adult would want to be surrounded 24-7 by plastic baby toys and other related garbage? Answer: NONE.

And when somebody finally threatens these breeders' little preschool worldview, daring to suggest that not everybody in the world is willing to cater to children--that not everybody WANTS a sanitized, child-friendly world--just watch the pro-censorship freaks come out of the woodwork. And what do they protest? "Adult" material. These pinheads cannot handle any facet of the adult world, including their own laughable sexuality. Who's doing all the protesting? The kids? Bullshit. They couldn't care less. They're too busy rotting their brains out with Barney The Dinosaur and all the other similarly enlightening trash their lame-ass "parents" continually foist upon them. Will these kids ever grow up to read Russian literature or acquaint themselves with the great composers? Hell, no. But they will be able to name the entire cast of soap operas, worship overpaid sports stars, tell you what model of trailer they live in, and give you the names of every pro wrestler who ever stepped into the ring.

I've been getting a LOT of mail lately from various people and organizations attempting to make the media "safe for the children". I also occasionally get hit up about the subject in real life, where I'm increasingly prone to voicing my opinion about the matter.

"Don't you care about the CHILDREN?" some dull-eyed bitch will predictably reply.

No, I don't care about the children. Not one little bit. In fact, if the tiny bastards' heads exploded, I wouldn't shed a tear. That's right, breeders. I don't give a sweet goddamn about your runts. If your baby caught on fire in front of me, I wouldn't piss on it to put out the flames. And if YOU cared about them, you'd realize that using your so-called "precious" babies as a crutch for your own deranged censorship fantasies is the lowest of the low.

Censorship? Forget about it. I don't give a rat's ass if full-penetration porn runs on TV at high noon. That's because I've got a grasp on a quaint little concept that breeders will NEVER understand--I know how to change the fucking channel. Anybody can do it. A chimp can do it. But no. Breeders aren't that smart. They'd rather shove their piss-ant "values" down everyone's throats than take a few seconds to change the channel, or God forbid, actually monitor what their drooling, brain-dead offspring might be watching on television. I secretly suspect that breeders are jealous. You see, ever since shitting out their hideous little shrieklings, they have no higher mental stimulation than sitting on the sofa, chewing their cud and watching Teletubbies. This bothers them deep inside. They know instinctively that if they were childfree, they could be doing something constructive with their lives. But now that they're parents, they have nothing to look forward to but a lifetime of endless drudgery, playing maidservant to a bunch of self-absorbed, screeching, arrogant fucktrophies.

But the fact that parents are in favor of blatant censorship doesn't surprise me. They can't control what their children look at. That's because they have no more control over their kids than they have over anything else. Parenthood, in itself, is the world's biggest advertisement for lack of self-control. Parents, after all, just HAD to fuck. They HAD to have a fucktrophy. They couldn't be bothered with birth control, or planning for the future. They HAD to contribute to the overpopulation crisis, HAD to let their kids turn into horrid little brats, HAD to shit out more Welfare burdens, HAD to breed like cockroaches. They HAD to blame society when their retarded vision of paradise turned into a nightmare from hell. They HAD to invent all this "motherhood is the most important job in the world" nonsense (the most important job, my sweet ass...pardon me while I piss myself laughing). All of this is due to the fact that breeders can't admit they're living in a hell of their own devising. These ass-scratching crackwhores can't even control what goes on inside their own homes. So they demand, instead, that the rest of society adopt their stupid, child-friendly worldview. In the same way that breeders have effectively brought about the dumbing down of the educational system to accomodate their dullwitted, Ritalin-chomping little dolts, they also demand that the remainder of society be slowed down to their level. Everything's so much easier when everyone thinks alike.

Of course, the childfree community recognizes the entire scenario for the bullshit it is. Having children is a lifestyle choice. And that's the sticking point. Choice. The idea of CHOICE bothers these people down to their very souls.

Misery loves company. And that's why the breeders of the world--the whole censorship-loving lot of them--want to take away everyone else's freedom to choose, on every imaginable level.

It's that simple.

--Jandi Aznor