For years I struggled intensely with my psyche and my former religion (isn't it amazing how long people will hold on to something even if it causes them great pain?). Fortunately, I've been able to work through both issues, however, I paid a very heavy price during this process. The ironic thing is, my former religion exacted much more from me than my psyche ever would or even could for that matter. One day I may write an essay about my experiences, but until I do, I found that the lyrics to Black Sabbath's song Megalomania accurately describe the multitude of things I felt and experienced with my former god (you megalomaniac, you) -- or should I say demi-god? Adieu forever, Ialdabaoth, and those associated with you, may all of you, one day, realize that which you don't right now. May there also be justice one day against you, Ialdabaoth, and some of your followers who've caused tremendous loss, intense pain, and much sorrow to myself and countless others.
Adieu Forever Ialdabaoth (Megalomania)
I hide myself inside the shadows of shame
The silent symphonies were playing their game
My body echoed to the dreams of my soul
This god is something that I could not control
Where can I run to now?
The joke is on me
No sympathizing god is insanity, yeah
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Obsessed with fantasy, possessed with my schemes
I mixed reality with pseudogod dreams
The ghost of violence was something I seen
I sold my soul to be the human obscene
How could it poison me?
The dream of my soul
How did my fantasies take complete control, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Well I feel something's taken me I don't know where
It's like a trip inside a separate mind
The ghost of tomorrow from my favorite dream
Is telling me to leave it all behind
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Got to get to happiness, want no more of sorrow
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Sting me!
Well I feel something's giving me the chance to return
It's giving me the chance of saving my soul
Beating the demigod, I'm fading away
I'm going backwards but I'm in control
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Getting back to sanity, providence of sorrow
Was it wise to disguise
How I tried to get away from you now
Is there a way that I could pay
Or is it true I have to stay with you now?
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Suck me!
I'm really digging schizophrenia the best of the earth
I've seized my soul in the fires of hell
Peace of mind eluded me, but now it's all mine
I simply try, but he wants me to fail
Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Now I've found my happiness, providence of sorrow
No more lies, I got wise
I despise the way I worshipped you yeah
Now I'm free, can't you see
And now instead I won't be led by you now
Free!
E Mail The Dreamer Behind This Stuff!
or click below
Back to Poetry, Babes, and Eclectic Stuff
Back to God Gave Adam The Finger Part 1
Back to God Gave Adam The Finger Part 2
Back to Home Sweet Home