Celebrity Drinking Quotes

The best way to die is sit under a tree, eat lots of bologna and salami, drink a case of beer, then blow up.

Art Donovan

Not drunk is he who from the floor - Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is They, who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise.

Thomas Love Peacock

During prohibition, I was forced to live off of food and water.

W.C. Fields

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up, that's the best they're going to feel all day.

Dean Martin

Most of the money I made I spent on fast cars, drink and women, the rest I just wasted.

George Best

When you drink as much as I do you gotta start early.

Bill Conrad

I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.

Richard Harris

Bartender - stop me at 2. Make that 2:30.

Norm - Cheers

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Ernest Hemingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Winston Churchill

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Dave Barry

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.

David Daye

People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.

Capital Brewery

You may be called a drunken dog by some of the high collar and silk stocking gentry, but the real roughnecks will style you a jovial fellow.

Davy Crockett

Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.

Dave Barry

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.

William Butler Yeats

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

It is mighty difficult to get drunk on 2.75 percent beer.

Herbert Hoover

I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.

Dean Martin

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

W.C. Fields

You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Joe E. Lewis

He was a wise man who invented beer.

Plato

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