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I was in Ottawa, going to Carleton University. I spent Saint Patrick's Day in the local watering hole on campus from noon until god knows when. After demolishing 8 pitchers (at least, that's how many I remember being on the table) with my English professor and this cute girl named Cathy, I realized I had to be getting home. I was so loaded I staggered out of the pub and must have gotten on the wrong bus. It was mid-March in Ottawa, and it was pretty cold outside, so I was bundled up in my toque and heavy jacket. The bus driver had the heat cranked and the motion and the beer and the heat caused me to hurl all over myself. So there I am sitting on the bus covered in my own vomit, and I realize that I'm lost too. I get off the bus and cross the street to catch the bus coming the other way. On the way, I realized that I still had no idea where I was going so I got off the bus and hailed a cab. The driver took me to where I was boarding (with a family). The ride cost $9, but I only had $6, so I went inside and started rifling through their kitchen drawers looking for money. The mother came into the kitchen and caught me searching for money, and told me to get out. I paid the cabbie with a pack of smokes, and the next day I was evicted.
Signed James
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