Matthew is 14 years old, rarely attends school and thouroughly enjoys stealing from both people and places of business. His hobbies include harassing gay people, fabricating ridiculous stories about meeting top-notch celebrities, living in his own filth, watching the Disney channel and throwing punches at his 72 year-old grandmother.

Yes, ladies, this one's single - and he's all yours.

[ Q U O T E S ]

From the mouth of the devil himself.

"Duh."

"Duh... if I learned HTML I could make a much better website than yours."

"Don't be talking shit about me to your internet whores."

"You're fucking stupid. Duh."

"Chicks like me. There's nothing I can do about it."