As with all things, there is vast knowledge to be acquired about yourself- from within yourself. There is much to experience, enjoy, regret, and study so your time is short for this daunting task.

I present my life as a catalog of experiences. I do not illustrate a false image of myself for you, but rather present myself as a growing spiritual being who is taking a rather unique path to enlightenment that you may find useful in your own spiritquest. I've only just begun to understand & accept my place as a guide to people who find spiritual confusion in a world divided by religions and politics.

Do not compare yourself to me, and do not try to rank yourself against me in any sense. I do not present myself as perfect, but rather imperfect as I am designed to be. In order to become the essence of what we truly are, we must imbrace our imperfections along with those things we've mastered in this life- making a total picture. It is that complete self-image that gives us the awareness, the confidence, and the beauty to truly advance.

First, let me give you some basic information about me so your spirit has something to bond to when imagining me.

HEIGHT: six foot, three inches

WEIGHT: two-hundred pounds even

ETHNIC BACKGROUND: Germanic

RELIGION: Anti-organized religion and pro-personal spirituality

SIBLINGS: 5 - most are practicing catholics, as I once was.

BORN: Eveleth, Minnesota October 4th 1974

RAISED: By parents in Central Lakes, Minnesota. Attended second half of school career in Willmar, MN.

EDUCATED: Cotton School- Cotton, Minnesota ; Willmar School System- Willmar, Minnesota ; Ridgewater College- Willmar, Minnesota ; School of Communication Arts- Minneapolis MN ; The Hood- South and North Minnepolis- two and a half years

We are all beings of a spiritual nature. Are you able to accept that, or does that sound strange to you? Can you say it with a straight face? Have you battled with questions about your sprituality before?

I've had lots of questions about my spirituality before. In some ways I acted appropriately, in others I've reacted inappropriately. In any case, spiritual decisions are mine to make, so I made them the only way I knew how. I'm going to try and outline some questions that helped me arrive at the place I'm at today.

Do I believe in a higher power? My answer: Yes. I can't get past the question honestly without saying yes. There is something in me that wants to believe there is something more to this universe than just haphazard coincidence and high science theory. I feel as though there has to be a warm, lined interior to the cold universe science has laid out for me. That, in and of itself, is MY leap of faith. I believe there is something more out there without having logical evidence of it's existence.

Ok, so do I believe that this higher power would have to be all-knowing, all seeing, all BEING- in other words, OMNISCIENT? My answer? Yes, again. Any high spiritual force that I could imagine would have to be all encompassing in order to exist. It would have to be part of me, part of you, part of every thought I have and every step I take. Everything I love and hate. Everything I know and do not know.

If this higher power is all-encompassing, it would also have to be evil- as well as good. It would have to be all things, right? My answer? Exactly. It would have to be all things. Therefor I don't believe in a clear division between good and evil. I believe in EXPERIENCES. Some experiences seem good, but have a negative effect, or seem bad at first, but end up doing something good later on down the road. It's too difficult to apply my life to the concept of right and wrong, good and evil- so I abandoned it.

I've abandoned a great many concepts that are commonly in rampant use today, especially amongst christians. Christians, and I speak from a point of some experience, seem to really enjoy the concept of right and wrong. They not only enjoy the concept of trying to define right and wrong, they enjoy labeling things as right and wrong. Making a great many judgements on a great many things, without actually taking the time to think through the finer implications of such judgements. They then exert these judgements as ultimatums designed to keep followers of their deity in-line and obedient to the cause. They make a judgement, then you have to step on one side of the line or the other.

I've done away completely with this theory that there is some 'proper' way of going about living life.... that there are decisions that are more likely to bring you to spiritual happiness, and bring about peace. I've decided that my judgements, when I make them, are personal. I don't push my beliefs on others, as my beliefs may not be right for others. These are the conclusions I've arrived at ON MY OWN. Someone else may arrive at their own conclusions, which is the beauty of my beliefs I think. I promote self-awareness, spiritual growth, and independent thought- regardless of whether I agree with what they do with it.

Some primary differences between a christian and me:

I can't imagine a god that would want to limit my experiences in this world. Any god I could believe in would want me to live my life to it's fullest, using the great mind I was given. God would want me to make my own decisions, suffer my own consequences, and take all the credit for my solo victories.

I can't imagine a god that would demand reverence. I'm supposed to believe that a god who knows all, sees all, and IS all somehow needs it's feeling coddled? Give me a break. It would want me to make up my own mind about how I want to treat everything, including my spirituality. I believe we all are born with the ability to know what we really are (spiritual beings), it's just up to us whether we can re-discover it. A god that demands constant worship and humility sounds more like an angry, petty king of some kind.

I can't imagine a god that doesn't understand me. I can't imagine having to pray to god and keep it up to date on my life. I would never ask it for anything. It knows me, as it is a part of me. God feels my rhythms, knows what I'm about, and knows I'll do everything I was made to do on my own. We are all a part of God, as much as it is a part of us and all that surrounds us.

I can't imagine a god that would condemn me. Why would god create people, and then put them in a world full of decisions, and then command them not to make certain decisions. We're not a fucking model railraod set here! We don't need to be set up to drive around in pretty little circles and do the same thing again and again, never to stray off our tracks. We are independent spiritual entities. If he/she/it didn't want it that way, he/she/it shouldn't have made us that way. It's that simple.

I can't imagine a god that doesn't like our creativity. I'll bet god would love dirty jokes, paintings, music, science, advancement, philosophy, or wind surfing. I'm totally comfortable around this great spirit under my beliefs, as if he were an old friend sitting on the couch watching TV with me. Oh, he wants me to pass the potato chips so I'd better go for now.

More later,

-William