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On Mon, 23 Nov 1998, allison wrote:
Allison, I *so* appreciate your beautiful story of the love you felt for your much younger roommate and really felt for you when I found out that you lost him. I do love my roomie but I think you have the wrong idea, here. I don't know Panther at all! I saw his name for the first time on this list last week when we were doing all the introductions. He may live in my general area of the country but my friend does not like to even use a computer, let alone join a list dedicated to discussing the slashier side of a TV show. He doesn't like to listen to me talk about sex even in relation to*women* -- he'd, like, *freak* if he knew I was into reading about m/m romances. Nevertheless, I *will* give a lot of thought about talking to my roommate, someday. I would hate to be in the position of losing him and never letting him know. -- Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
: [snip]
Allison, I gotta speak up, here. I'm with Wolf on this. Just because we live in the same *region* of the US and have similar problems with our roommates -- that doesn't mean we even know each other. I mean do all of the listsibs that live in, say, Texas know each other? No. Maybe it's a little unusual for *guys* to be on this list -- I saw introductions from only about 5 guys. But all guys on this list aren't necessarily going to know each other, either. It could be that our situation is not that unusual. In fact, you have given us very good evidence that 2 people of disparate ages can be roommates and get along very well together. Which has started me thinking that maybe my situation with my own roommate may not be as hopeless as I was thinking. If you and your roommate and Wolf and his friend can get along so well, then maybe there's hope for me, too. Hey, Wolf, keep us updated on your progress talking to your friend. Maybe if you can get talking with him, I can give it a try, too. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Congrats Panther on losing your literary " cherry " It was good for me. (eg) Was it good for you? (vveg) tc angela k :-) oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 25 Nov 1998, Angelica wrote:
I'm glad it was good for you ;) I'm still not comfortable with creating stuff like that. It was kind of hard to come up with words that rhyme AND made sense. But it was kind of fun, I guess. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
A few of us have been drifting off the discussion of the show and discussing our bodies and body images. Nothing wrong with the topic, IMHO. It's just that I've been told that now I have to write a snippet as a form of 'penance.' I've never written anything fictional before, never thought I'd ever write about my two favorite guys Joe, the Watchman, and Jake, his partner. I guess I'll just do this in script format. Here goes ... my very first ... snippet: ---------- Jake: What's the matter, Joe? Joe: A disturbing case today, Bud. Not sure you wanna hear about it. Jake: A murder? A mangled corpse? Did you need me there? I should have been there, right? Joe: Calm down, Jake. It was none of those things. It was a case of child abuse. Jake: How did you get called into ... Oh God, Joe, they didn't ... Joe: No. She didn't die. But she could have. They found her lying in bed, unable to move and barely able to breathe. She weighed only 80 pounds. Jake: How did she get that way? Joe: After her parents died, her aunt took her in. Things were fine until she turned about 9. Then the aunt started keeping her on a very strict diet, to keep her weight down so she wouldn't be 'too fat.' Jake: Aw maaann, why do they do that to girls? Joe: I don't know. ... Anyway, now she's 14 and she's about 5'6" and her aunt had her on a diet of less than 900 calories a day. She wouldn't let her exercise because 'muscles' weren't 'feminine.' Jake: What's going to happen to her? Joe: They may be able to save her life. But ... Jake: But she'll be a mess for years. Joe: Yeah. --end-- _______ I couldn't think of a good ending to this. Sorry. --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 25 Nov 1998, tracy l tracy@hotmail.com wrote:
After lurking for a while, I'm getting the impression that women are a
lot more outspoken about these topics than I was raised to believe.
Since you ladies seem to be in the majority here, I'll just have to
adjust.
You seem to think that men age gracefully. This is a misconception. We
may call it what it is -- bald is bald -- but that does not mean we like
it.
I still think I look basically OK, but I don't get the 'looks' I once
got when I was 10 - 15 years younger.
I feel so invisible at times. I've overheard women complain about
this, that after a certain age they feel like no one looks at them, like
they are invisible. But guys feel that way, too. They just don't talk
about it a lot.
That's something I appreciate about this list. It's OK to mention these
things.
--Panther, who doesn't want to write another snippet today.
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(coming out of her lurk)
See, in society, it's Ok for a man to go bald, get grey hair, and those
crow's feet around the eyes it's called maturing, and G-d knows plenty
of actors eat it up, Sean Connery just to point out one guy who's like
100 and still gorgeous...
Women on the other hand, are expected to have the same color hair, if
their hair line recedes get the football helmet hair-don't, and crow's
feet are a sign to see the plastic surgeon..
Yes, most men in society who are balding do not get the same look and
gawks from women they used to, but hey, women are usually the ones on
display....makeup, hair gunk that sorta stuff etc.
Also depends on how a man is balding...IMHO Mr. Bergman's receding hair
line is MEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW well..ummm I really love the
way a man looks with his hair like that...don't know why....it's a kink
};)
So don't be discouraged....there are women out there that do think a
little less hair is something to shake their groove thing
at....ummm (blush)
Mindy
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On Wed, 25 Nov 1998, Wolf wrote:
I saw this and had to add my own two cents.
This time of year is pretty dreary for me. I haven't spoken to my dad
or brother much in the past 20 years. My mom left us when I was young
and then died later.
So Thanksgiving has long been a day to endure, a day on which, if I'm
honest with myself, I just try to not miss my mother too much.
But this year, my roommate surprised me. He cooked us a dinner, part
traditional and part sort of new-agey -- a dinner like us, I guess.
Before my mom left, she used to have me and my brother make a list of
things to be thankful for -- much as Wolf does now.
Well, for the first time in a long while, I feel like I have something
to put on that list. I thank whatever deity listens to these things for
my roommate. He has become everything to me -- a combination of a
'mother' and a 'brother.' Definitely my best friend.
And I thank you WatchAD listsibs for listening to me.
--Panther
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On Wed, 25 Nov 1998, tracy l (tracy@hotmail.com) wrote:
Well, I guess I can join this thread, since you asked. I'll just have
to do my snippet later after I think it over. :)
I was almost as surprised as Panther was at some of the blunt discussion
on this list. I have known some women who've been willing to be this
explicit in conversation around me, but not a lot. It's really a breath
of fresh air when I find this level of openness.
I'm closing in on 30 and starting to notice some changes, too. I still
have hair, lots of it actually. I wear it to my shoulders but
have been considering cutting it as I approach the big 3-0. I wear it
pulled back in a ponytail half the time, anyway, like a lot of guys do
as they get a little older.
But the other day I got a bit of a shock. You know how when you look in
the mirror to shave [or whatever], you don't always really *see*
yourself? Well, I hadn't really been *looking* and then all of a sudden
I was like startled to see a couple gray hairs at the edges of my
hairline. And my hairline is doing that inverted 'V' thing at the
temples. I didn't exactly freak or anything but I had one of those
moments when I realized that after a few years of having a LOT of hair,
I was coming up on losing it.
I don't feel too bad about it. I think I look about as good as I
ever did. IF I ever did.
I don't know whether I date less because of I'm less interesting to look
at or because I'm less interested in looking.
(But that's another topic, and I plan to write only one snippet, so I'll
stop there.)
I can't really report any gray hairs in any .. um .. other places, yet.
;)
--Wolf
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Grace,
This is wonderful to read.
I'm just hoping what you say is true -- that the person I might want to
have a relationship with will value those qualities and look past the
thinning hair, the loosening muscles, the lessening stamina, the
slightly sluggish ... um ... circulation.
Not that I doubt your word entirely. It's just that the person I'm
thinking of pursuing actually came out and *said* quite plainly that as
far as they were concerned, attraction required the physical component,
not just the inner qualities. At the time, they were talking about my
interest in someone else, saying that I might feel less attracted if
they weren't conventionally good-looking.
So the person didn't say it about *me* but I rather took it to heart.
I'm not sure that this person is quite as mature as they would need to
be to deal with the aging issue. And I'm not so sure I want to find out.
I'm not sure I want to go through any more emotional shocks in my life.
--Panther
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Panther wrote:
((Grace,
This is wonderful to read.
I'm just hoping what you say is true -- that the person I might want
have a relationship with will value those qualities and look past the
thinning hair, the loosening muscles, the lessening stamina, the
slightly sluggish ... um ... circulation. ))
::grinning *very* evilly (and entirely teasing):: I ..... won't say it.
;)
(( Not that I doubt your word entirely. It's just that the person I'm
thinking of pursuing actually came out and *said* quite plainly that as
far as they were concerned attraction required the physical component,
not just the inner qualities. At the time, they were talking about my
interest in someone else, saying that I might feel less attracted if
they weren't conventionally good-looking. ))
::sigh:: Yeah, I can see where you're coming from ... I think, in all
honesty, that yes physical attraction is a part of Attraction, but it's
not always a given *what* is attractive to *whom*. For instance, I
can't see Brad Pitt as a heartthrob no matter *how* hard I try, even
though a friend in CA went thru a huge phase with him as her ultimate
dream-guy (e.g.: "Interview w/ a Vampire" - it was actually more fun to
watch her reaction to Pitt than the movie itself!
(( I'm not sure that this person is quite as mature as they would need
to be to deal with the aging issue. And I'm not so sure I want to find
out. I'm not sure I want to go through any more emotional shocks in my
life. ))
Again, I totally understand. But I am once again going to throw in
personal belief (albeit a lot more philosophical this time) and hope it
helps. I, as I said, am a romantic. Part of that is because I truly
believe that there are souls we have lived with before and are linked to
on many different levels - one of which being Love. When you find the
right person, it will BE the right person: the one you are meant to be
with. And when that happens, every- thing will fall into place and this
whole issue will be moot. Life is full of chance, of risks and rewards
- and you can't have one without the other. Unless you try with this
person, you'll never know - and if it doesn't work out, then that's not
the person you're meant to be with. But the most important thing, what
it comes back to, is this: before you can be happy with anyone else, you
must be happy with yourself. Believe me - I'm *still* working on it!
(g)
::supportive hug::
Later!
Grace
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[snip]
[snip]
I so wish you guys could talk to my roommate!
He's been really down on himself lately and won't talk about what's up
with him. He doesn't try to ask anybody out. I think he's worried that
just because he's over 30 or something that the women won't be
interested.
And he won't talk to *me* about it, even though I'm, like, his best
friend. I think he's bought the social convention that guys just aren't
supposed to talk to each other and it is driving me abso-freakin-lutely
nuts!
I used to try to encourage him but the more I pushed the more he
resisted, so I gave up on it.
He doesn't seem to realize that he's attractive. I mean, *I* can see
it; why can't *he*?
He may be about a decade older but he is way more attractive than I'll
ever be. Age has so little to do with attractiveness!
And you are *so* right about Sean Connery! He's like in his 60s or
maybe he's 70? And he's like droolworthy! (blush)
Brad Pitt should *wish* to look that good!
But I can't tell my roomie all this, or he'll get nervous about me, and
then he'll clam up even more than he already does!
--Wolf
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