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Allison, I got your name and addy from the bulletin board, while looking for places to stay in LA if I get to go to the Rally. It says you have room for about 12 and your place is non-smoking. You seemed really open and friendly in your posts on the list, so I felt comfortable approaching you. I don't know whether my roommate will be going, but *I* would like to go and need a place to stay. Can you set aside places for 2 of us? Is there still room? When's the latest I need to let you know whether it will be one or two of us? I really hope you still have room and are willing to take us. Thank you, --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Hey, man, I'm sorry to do this to you, after making a big deal here and on the list asking for a carpool, but I'm going to just opt out. I want to go and all, but I don't want to hang you guys up if we don't end up going at the last minute. It's just that my roommate won't commit. He keeps coming up with a bunch of excuses and he's beginning to piss me off. Not because of the excuses, so much. I mean, I know he has to work and might not able to swing the days off. A lot of people on the list are going through that hassle -- that and not having any money... It's just that he's being a real pain in the ass, lately, so I'm not so sure I*want* to go with him at the moment. He just blows up at every little picky thing and ... well, he's just not being very easy to be with right now. His crankiness comes and goes, so in the long run, I know it'll be OK. But I can't really guarantee that I'll be able to stand being cooped up in a car with him for 3 days straight. Anyway, carpooling seemed like a good idea at the time, but I guess it's just not a good idea. Too bad, though. I was looking forward to meeting you guys. --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Mon, 7 Dec 1998, Marmot wrote:
No real news, Marmot et al. I don't want to go into great detail, but I'm a little pissed at him at the moment so I haven't really felt like talking. I still don't feel ready to open up, anyway, yet. It's way too scary. I have gotten the impression from occasional comments he's made in conversation that he's less put off by stuff like slash than I thought he would be. This doesn't really say anything about how he feels about*me* but it does tell me that he's a little more open-minded on this topic than I thought. But I can't talk to him right now. It seems like every time I open my mouth, he snaps at me. Thanks for expressing interest. Yes you *are* nosy, but so am I. :) --Wolf Do I have to do a snippet now? I really don't want to; I'm kind of depressed. oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Mon, 7 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
Ah, Wolf: How does anyone answer the question 'why' when it comes to love? There are the obvious things about him that make him *attractive*:
Hell, I even like looking at his feet! And his *voice* -- that expressive voice! If I believed in 'love at first sight,' those things would do it. But I don't believe in that. And it didn't. Those things are not what have made me love him. What has? There is not enough bandwidth in the world for me to cover it. But I'll mention a few things. When I met him, I thought he was kind of small. I thought he'd be easy to push around. But I've seen him face a lot of intimidating people and situations without backing down. Not that he wasn't afraid -- he was terrified. It's just that he wasn't intimidated. I admired that from the beginning. And he's smart, in a way that I don't see too much. He sort of gathers facts and ideas from here and there and links them together to come up with pretty good insights. He's not that linear in his reasoning but what he does, works. I love his energy and enthusiasm for life. I feel so burnt out sometimes that I forget what that can look like. When I watch him enthusing over something, I just feel like smiling. But what I really love about him, what draws me to him, is his compassion. It's like he was *born* to give of himself to others. Hell, he's saved my sanity so many times in the past few years that it isn't funny. I can't even let myself imagine where I would be now without his support. And his loyalty to me has been boundless. I've *never* had a friend who has given me so much, who has sacrificed so much for me. So ... Wolf, there it is. Yes, he bugs me sometimes. Yes, he's immature at times. But ... My God, I love him. I'm going to close now. I have to get a grip on myself so I can go to work and focus on my job. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Sun, 6 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
If he's this hard to get along with and hard to predict like this, why do you love him? What's the attraction? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Well, Panther, sometimes it's hard to say. Yeah, I'm still kind of pissed at him. But I still love him. I'll get over it. I think I love him for the things few people get to see. Things that he Doesn't always even show me. He's one of those guys who have been so hurt, so damaged that they put up a wall to protect themselves. A nasty wall, covered by barbed wire and surrounded by a moat full of alligators. But I could see something interesting, something good through the windows, so I forced myself to swim the moat and climb that wall. I was not disappointed. He's smart, sensitive, down-to-earth. He's a great bullshit detector -- I can't get away with anything :) He sees people for who they really are. He really *sees* me. How many people in your life really *see* who you really are? And after seeing me, he still likes me. Takes my breath away! He really *cares* about people and is really protective of me, even when he doesn't really have to be. He's kind of funny about this. One time, he was driving a little too fast and when we rounded this corner, he actually *stuck out his arm* across my chest like he was trying to keep me from flying through the windshield. This even though I was wearing a seat belt! Cracked me up! I've seen moms do that with their little kids, but never big buff guys doing that for their roommates!!! And he has a really wry sense of humor. This is something almost nobody gets to see, because he has to be so serious in his work. But he gets this crooked grin and this little light in his eye - it's just great to see. I try to be goofy sometimes just so I can see it. But maybe most important, he's given me a home. Like I said in my introductory post on WatchAD, I was always moving around a lot when I was a kid. I've lived here longer than I've lived anywhere. But it's not just the place. *He's* my home, now. I feel like I *belong* with him. That means a lot to me. So, he's, like, on the cranky side. But I still love him. Does that answer your question, Panther? --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
mountain% finger wolf@washnet.com [washnet.com] connect: Connection refused. mountain% logout oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Mon, 7 Dec 1998 19:36:57 -0800 (PST) cpd% telnet rainet.com Connecting Connected Escape character ^] login: ellison password: ******* mountain% telnet washnet.com Connecting Connected Escape character ^] login: bsandburg password: ******** password incorrect password: ^] mountain% logout oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Mon, 7 Dec 1998 19:40:06 -0800 (PST) ru-annex2% telnet washnet.com Connecting to washnet.com Connect: Escape character is ^] login: bsandburg password: ****** rain% finger panther@rainet.com [rainet.com] Connect: Connection refused. rain% logout oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Mon, 7 Dec 1998 19:58:50 -0800 (PST) ru-annex2% telnet washnet.com Connecting to washnet.com Connected Escape character is ^] login: bsandburg password: ****** rain% telnet rainet.com Connecting to rainet.com Connected Escape character is ^] login: jelisson password: *** password incorrect password: **** password incorrect password: *** password incorrect login timeout disconnect rain% logout oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Dear Wolf, I believe I can easily "squeeze" one or two more Watchman aficionados into my humble home! We fans have to "stick" together and sleeping in close quarters will certainly accomplish that! I'm going to assume that with a handle like "Wolf", you are a canine lover? I hope so because I have two spoiled rotten dogs, both *inside* animals. They love people, love to curl up with sleeping folks! Any sleeping folks! (g) And they will be in seventh heaven with all us Watchman Fans filling every available spot in *their* home. See? Spoiled rotten. Did I mention the sleeping arrangements? Well, let me just give you a clue: Sleeping bags! And I will take bribes for the two couches, the big comfy chair with ottoman and the bathtub! Be prepared to have fun and rally behind our favorite show and our favorite guys! Here's hoping your roomie does decide to go and don't forget: Plain talk, plain truth = a true bond. oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Mon, 7 Dec 1998, 9:30 p.m. "Hey, Jim?" "Yeah, Chief?" "Have you had a chance to read any of the Watchman fanfic my friend sent?" "A couple." "What d'ya think?" "They were OK." "Just okay, Jim?" "What do you want, Sandburg, a Pauline Kael special?! They were OK. Kind of fun." "Did you like any one better than any other? Do you want me to have my friend send more?" "Well, I kind of liked the one where the guys go undercover in the leather bar and Jake gets slipped a mickey and ends up in Joe's bed and doesn't have a clue how he got there. That one was damn funny! Maybe more like that one, except maybe from Joe's point of view. I really identify more with him, you know, he's older and everything." "So ... it didn't ... bother you?" "Didn't what bother me?" "You know, ... 2 guys?" "Sandburg, it's the 90s! I've worked vice. I've seen a lot more stuff than that. Very little surprises or shocks me anymore. So .. no it didn't bother me. Weren't you listening? I said I liked the damn story. I even asked for more like it." "Okay, okay! It's just that you asked me that the other day but you never .. um .. told me how you felt about that sort of thing, so I just thought I'd ask, y'know? No big deal. "Um .. so, Jim, .. have you given any more thought to going to the rally in LA?" "Still thinking it over, Sandburg. You know, there's no guarantee that I can get the time away from the station." "I know. Just checking, Jim. By the way, when I e-mail my friend about the stories, how .. um .. explicit can they be?" "I'm a big boy, Sandburg. If the writing's decent and it has a decent story, I don't mind a little sex in the mix." "Between the guys?" "Sandburg, I thought we just finished discussing this. Between the guys is just fine. In fact, it's more than fine. Maybe I can imagine that someone my age is having a sex life. That OK with you, Sandburg?" "Uh .. sure .. fine, Jim. I'll ... "
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