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oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998, 3:45 p.m. "Sandy. When are you going to tell him?" "Tell who what, Megan?" "Tell Jim and you know what." "How did you guess?" "It is so obvious to anybody looking at you. The way you look at him? Get serious." "If it's so obvious, then why hasn't he figured it out?" "Maybe he has. Maybe he's just waiting for you." "You know, somebody else said that." "So when are you going to tell him?" "Soon." oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998, about 3:55 p.m. "When is he going to tell him what, Connor?" "You heard us, Jim?" "Just a couple of things. When is he going to tell him what?" "I can't really discuss that with you. You're going to have to talk to your partner about that." "He can discuss it with you, but not me?" "He wasn't really discussing it with me; I just confronted him with it." "But how did you know to confront him?" "Because, Jim, it was obvious. And if you'd been paying attention, you'd see it yourself. But that's all I'm going to say on the subject. The rest you will have to get from Sandy." oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
How're you doing, Wolf? Just thought I'd check in and see if the paper bags are safe at the moment. :) I overheard the end of a conversation between him and a mutual friend and got the impression that he's about to approach his ... whatever they are. She practically called me an idiot for not catching on sooner -- that he has this secret. I do feel like an idiot. How could I have *missed* it? Enough. Do you have any plans for New Year's? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
No paper bags were harmed in the creation of this e-mail.
;)
There are perfectly reasonable explanations for this. This secret love [God! First I sound like Scully, now Doris Day] could have been going on for *years*. If that's true, then there wouldn't have been any abrupt change in behavior to clue you -- right? It would all look just ... normal. But now that you know, you can start looking. Is there anyone around that he looks at like they're *God,* or something?
We're just going to a thing at work. Should be fun. Just don't know what I'm going to do about this one co-worker. She *so* has a crush on me and I just don't want to deal with that. How about you? --Wolf oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
I've been looking around but I just don't see this. He's so friendly to *everybody,* has an incredibly open smile for most people. His eyes have this sort of warm glow when he smiles ... But I haven't seen him look gaga over anyone in about 3 years and I know for a fact it isn't her. No... There isn't anyone around that he looks at like that. He looks at others no more intensely than he looks at me, his roommate. So no. No deity-worship that *I* can see. But I'll keep looking. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
[snip]
I don't *believe* this, man! Do you even *listen* to yourself? He looks at others NO MORE INTENSELY than he looks at you? Does he ... possibly look at others LESS INTENSELY than he looks at you? God! men are just SO clueless! (/rant) Other than that, how are things going? I assume you haven't told him yet. I'm thinking of dropping a bunch of hints. Maybe say it New Year's. Maybe not. Depends on how receptive he seems. Wolf, who is probably JUST as clueless; must be the Y chromosome... oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
[snip]
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
[snip]
Pretty much the same here. I guess some students are having a thing and we're going to hang out there. How do you plan to avoid the girl with the crush? ;) --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
Must be why we joined a predominantly female list -- eh, Wolfie? Somebody pee in *your* beer this time? OK ... YES. You're right. He does, in fact, look at most people less intensely than he looks at me. We've been best friends for over 3 years; he's *glad to see me*. I think you've been reading way too much slashfic; it's clouding your objectivity. (/counter-rant) So ... drop any hints, yet? --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Panther wrote:
Oh, man, I do not know! It is just SO embarrassing. And she hinted that she'd hunt me down at midnight. I mean, it's not that she isn't nice, friendly, smart and attractive. She's all of those things. It's just that I'm trying SO hard to be good, you know? I'm guessing you think this is really funny, but it isn't. What do you suggest I do? --Wolf, who really *isn't* oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Wed, 30 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
[snip]
Kill 2 birds with one stone: tell her you're already taken -- by him. I'm only half joking. I think it *is* funny -- my roommate, at one time, would not have run from this at all. A lot of guys wouldn't have, probably. But I guess it's only funny because it's not me. Maybe you could pretend you have a date showing up any minute. Maybe you could hide in a closet. I guess not; too much irony in that. I guess I really don't know. This sort of problem has never come up for me. Let me know how you pull this off. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Wed, 30 Dec 1998, about 9:30 p.m. "Hey, Jim. What about your ... situation?" "Sandburg, can you be any more vague?!" "I mean, you've been nudging me about my 'mystery person' but you haven't said much about yours. You going to?" "Eventually." "When? Is there any reason to wait?" "I guess I want to wait until I'm sure how it's going to go." "So you haven't really given up; it's not a total lost cause, then." "I guess you're right. I guess I'm still hopeful." "I'm glad for you, then." "Thanks, Chief." oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Tues, 29 Dec 1998, Wolf wrote:
Deal. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998, about 7:00 p.m. "Hey, Jim, yesterday you said that you were waiting to tell me about your ... um ... mystery person .. when you figured out how things were going to go." "Yes. I said that. Your point?" "Well, how will you know? How are you going to find out? Are you going to ask them straight out or what?" "Well, Chief, I thought I'd try observing for a while. Get a sense of whether they can stand me. Figure out if there really is someone else. Drop a few hints. Listen to what they say. Nothing you haven't done yourself, who knows how many times -- and just why are you asking me this?" "I just ... I wanted ... I need ... Just let me know when you figure it out, OK? Because if you hook up with somebody ... somebody important ... if you ... then it may change the way we work together, how we are as friends ... and I just want to ... need to ... figure out how to adjust .. I'll need to process it. ... That's all. Because it'll change things, Jim. That's why. "And I don't think I can face.... I mean first there's the torture of the unrequited love thing .. and then .. and then you'll be off with someone ... and I'll be happy for you really I will because ... but if ... you know .. it's an old thing .. a commonplace ... I mean they even have it in The Lion King ... Timon and Pumba .. [Timon was gay, you know, and so was Scar, probably, although he was probably omnisexual, but I digress] Timon and Pumba even sing about it when Nala shows up ... So if it shows up there, you just know it's commonly known ... that it changes things, Jim!" "Sandburg, you're really not making much sense; I think you need to breathe. I'm not going anywhere, Chief. I really don't think we should be taking our cues from an animated meercat and warthog. "And besides, since when do you put that much stock in 'commonplaces'? The very realities of our partnership belie several commonplaces." "'Belie,' Jim?" "It's a perfectly good word, Sandburg. Shows up in my favorite Shakespearean sonnet. I'll let you guess which one." "Shakespeare, Jim?" "Disney, Sandburg?" oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998, about 9:00 p.m. "Catharine! You've met Jim, right?" "Briefly, once. Glad to meet you again, Jim. Hey, you guys look great tonight! Blair sure cleans up nicely, doesn't he, Jim?" "Catharine!" "Well, you do, Blair. I think this is one of the few times I've seen you wearing fewer than 6 shirts and 3 sweaters. And look no holes in the knees!" "Catharine's got you pegged. And she's right, Chief -- you do clean up nicely." "You're lookin' OK yourself, Jim. I notice you're not wearing your white socks -- must be an occasion." "Boys, now behave." "You started it!" "Ah, Blair, you're so easy. Well, I'll be along later. ... say, 11:59?" oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Thu, 31 Dec 1998, 11:40 p.m. "Twenty more minutes, guys! Back in a few!" *** "Jim, man, we gotta hide somewhere." "Hide? You being pursued by ghosts of girlfriends past, or something, Chief?" "That's a Christmas story, Jim. We are now faced with the specter of New Year's Eve. ... In here, Jim." "What is this place and why are we here?" "This is the phonetics lab; no one will think to look for us here." "Just who are we hiding from, Sandburg, and why?" "You heard Catharine -- it's almost a quarter to midnight. And if I know her, she'll be coming after us, probably with a girlfriend, to indulge in the midnight ritual." "Anthropologists have midnight rituals, Chief?" "Get a clue, man, it's New Year's Eve! ... "Aw, man! How do you do that?!" "Do what, Chief?" "That deadpan thing." "But you're so easy, it's no effort at all. "Look, Sandburg, all you had to say was that you didn't want Catharine to find you so you didn't have to kiss her at midnight. You didn't have to go into all that academese about midnight rituals." "Actually, Jim, kissing at midnight combines two sets of very important symbols. No, really, Jim, it's very interesting! "First, several cultures have things to say about the importance of both midday and midnight. In parts of China, midnight at the winter solstice is considered favorable for conception. And according to some texts, midnight of the winter solstice sets the 'yang' in motion and 'yin' at rest. "Others have taught that the midnight sun is the spiritual sun at its zenith. And my favorite one: midnight is sometimes considered a time of befuddlement but also the point at which revelation begins. "And then there is the kissing, of course." "Of course." "Jim..." "Go ahead, Sandburg. I figure we've got about 10 more minutes of hiding to do. I've never heard a treatise on kissing before. So go ahead, lay one on me." "Um .. Well .. OK.. there are two kinds of kissing. And the two kinds often overlap ambiguously. "There's the sensual kissing where the mouth is used as a sensory organ. Like when a baby uses it sort of like a third hand. You know, how babies are always putting things in their mouths? They aren't always trying to eat everything. Sometimes they're just getting information about whatever it is -- it's like their tongues are fingers. "And sort of evolving out of that comes the erotic use of the mouth ... but I don't have to tell you about that, do I?" "No. I would say that I get that one, Chief." "Um ... yeah ... but then there is the symbolic kissing. It's a symbol of 'a joining together and mutual adherence.' It was believed that when one person kissed another, they were joined, spirit to spirit. "Many cultures associate the breath with the spirit or soul. So when one's mouth touches another's mouth, the souls are released, one into the other, the two spirits forever joined. "Hence, many have written about holy kisses between mankind and God, as well as between members of spiritual communities as a form of communion -- the holy kiss being a sign of 'concord, submission, reverence, and love.' "So in the 'Song of Solomon,' when he writes, 'Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth,' he means-- mmmmmmmph! ... mmmmmph? ...mmmmm..." "Happy New Year, Blair." oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Fri, 01 Jan 1999, 12:03 a.m. "Jim?!" "That's me, Chief." "Jim?" "Blair?" "Jim? Me?" "No, I'm Jim; you're Blair." "It was me? You were waiting to tell me about me? "Aw, ma-an! How could I not see this?! "But couldn't you tell? It was always you. You couldn't tell? "What can I say, Blair, fear and denial make clueless morons of us all. I think Shakespeare said that, but not in those words."
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