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Panther: The room is yours. And to be honest....*we girls* will probably feel more like letting our hair down if we're not *all* sleeping on the floor together. (g) Don't know about you but we'll be getting up mighty early Friday morning and I *so* did not want to see a bunch of women covering themselves with their sleeping bags to avoid "you guys" seeing us with "morning hair" (VBG) BUT, and this is a very big but, we still hope you will join us in the*party* part of slumber party? I find myself looking forward to hearing a man's take on the show and the relationship between the two guys.....Any problem? If there is....I could find a way to hide a pea under the mattress.....*s* Hope this puts your mind at rest? And I live in a surprisingly country type atmosphere, on a small mountain/hill, with lots of beautiful walking areas and greenbelts....lots of privacy and very calming. Um....kinda romantic too. See you soon. oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Mon, 4 Jan 1999, Allison wrote:
I thought this might very well be the case. So then, it will be of mutual benefit. Good.
Oh, most definitely. I didn't mean to give the impression that we would hide all night. We *want* to join the party. We're coming down because we want to help out the show and well, we really need a vacation. It'll be interesting to meet the faces that go with the names. Once again, thanks for everything. --Panther oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
Panther, Glad to hear you'll be part of the "slumber party" and can't wait to meet Blair. Are you half as excited as I am? Confession time: and I wouldn't be "confessing" except you *are* a gentleman and sound so sympathetic....I'm a little nervous about meeting all the people we have been corresponding with on the list...Will they like me? Will I be a disappointment to anyone? Heck, will they even care? Any of these feelings sound familiar? Or am I just being a dope? And a tad paranoid? oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo
On Sun, 3 Jan 1999, Cynara wrote:
Aw, isn't that sweet! (sorry, couldn't resist ;) Gotcha. Actually, I sent it out right before I got to your post. Hazard of composing before getting to the end of the inbox. Glad that it's going well. oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Mon, 4 Jan 1999, about 11:00 p.m. "So ... Chief, I've done some reading about our situation and was wondering if I could ask you something." "Sure, Jim. What?" "Well, I don't know how common it is for guys to hit our ages and realize that they could be attracted to guys .. or even just one guy ... "But I've read something that suggests that it happens and the sorts of things that get in the way of .... things. And I was wondering if any of it is like how you feel. "The list of 'issues' seems to include fear of the unknown, crises of identity, and performance anxiety. Any of that relevant, Chief?" "Oh .. I would say that's a start on the list, yeah." "Is there any way I can help you with that?" "Well, really, the whole gender identity thing I'll have to deal with myself because it has to do with my being comfortable with my self- perception." But fear of the unknown and performance anxiety .. yeah, maybe. Probably. I mean it's only logical, right? " "Logical?" "That you would have to help me." "You're losing me." "Well ... how does one overcome fear of the unknown?" "Education. ... Information. ..." "By putting yourself in the position to know. By making it known." "But Blair, how are you going to do that .. if .." "Yes. I know, Jim. But I'm just not sure how one overcomes performance anxiety, exactly." "By not performing?" "That's not overcoming it, that's avoidance, right?" "I don't mean 'not making love'; I mean 'not performing.'" "Oh." oooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooooooOOooo Date: Tues, 5 Jan 1999 about 12:30 a.m.
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Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999, 7:00 a.m.
"Mornin,' Jim."
"Mrnnn.."
"Sleep well, love?"
"Until now. ... I notice you've brushed your teeth, already."
"I knew that Sentinel senses had to be good for something, and there
it is -- you can gauge the state of my dental hygiene from three feet
away!"
"I wouldn't need my Sentinel senses if you'd get over here where you
should be."
"(gasp!)"
"(GASP!!)"
(roll-roll-roll-roll-roll)(crash!)
(thud)
"Ow-ow-ow-ow! Get off!"
"You might want to re-phrase that, Chief."
"Ow! Squashed! Hair pulled! Off!"
"Me Jim, you Blair."
"No...Me! You! Bed! Now!"
"God, I've created a monster."
"Aw, Jim, man, it's not that big."
. . .
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Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999, 9:00 a.m.
"Got everything packed, Chief?"
"Yep. Ready to go."
"We'll have to make a couple of stops before we get out of town. Let's
see ... ATM .. gas .."
"Drug store. Definitely, drug store."
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Date: Tues, 5 Jan 1999, 5:10 p.m.
"Back in the car, Chief."
"What? No room at the inn?"
"Not for us."
"Not for us? Why? What happened?"
"I was busily filling out their forms and the guy was taking down the
license plate and asking the usual questions -- 'smoking or non-
smoking,' how many in your party -- and when I said 'two,' he looked out
the window and saw you getting out of the truck. ... Then, he offered a
room with two beds. So I said that wasn't necessary. And he gave me
a look.
"I know the look, Jim."
"I've run into enough bigots in my life to know that look, too, but I
didn't feel we should have to pay more for a bed we're not going to use.
So I asked for a room with one bed. And he said there weren't any
available. And I knew he was lying. I was so pissed off I had to get
out of there. And all I could think was 'Well, so now it starts."
"You knew it was going to start sooner or later, Jim"
"Yeah, but this was sooner than I expected."
"Regrets?"
"Yeah, some. I regret that we've driven over 460 miles -- a third of it
in pouring rain and the rest in cold and fog -- I'm tired and I need to
rest and this asshole is hassling me about how many fucking beds he's
willing to rent me.
"I almost regret not punching his goddam lights out."
"Well, eventually he'll regret that his attitude will lose him
business. Let me drive, Jim. We'll just go to the next place, find a
place where we're welcome. ... Or at least treated fairly."
"Fair is all I ask, Chief."
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Date: Tues, 5 Jan 1999, 5:35 p.m.
"Let me go in this time, Jim."
...
"Just the two of you, sir?"
"Yes, Ma'am, just us."
"We're kind of full, because there's some sort of convention in town ...
so we don't have too many choices for you."
"We're really very tired. What do you have?"
"Well, in non-smoking, I'm sorry to say we don't have any rooms with two
doubles left. Just two singles or one double."
"We'll take the double."
"You sure you don't mind sharing, Sir?
"... Sir?"
"No, we don't have any problem with that."
...
"Be there in a minute, Jim."
...
"I don't mean to pry, Sir, but is your friend all right?"
"Jim? Oh, he's OK, just tired. It's been a long drive."
"He's kind of cute when he smiles, isn't he? He taken?"
"Yes. Definitely."
"So are you, I see."
"Ma'am?"
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Date: Tues, 5 Jan 1999, 6:05 p.m.
"Got some quarters, Jim?"
"Sure, here. Why?"
"For this! Join me."
"Sandburg, I'm tired."
"But Ji-ih-ih-ihm, I-I ha-a-aven't duh-uh-uh-uhn thi-ih-ihs in
ay-ay-ay-ges! It's fu-uh-uhn!"
"Well, Chief, I can definitely say that I've never met anyone who can
have so much fun on a bed."
"Ah-ah-ahw, ma-a-a-a-an..."
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Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1999, 8:15 a.m.
"What is it, Jim?"
"Our waitress saw us holding hands and now doesn't want to wait on us."
"But then why are you laughing?"
"We're being handed off. Wish you could hear this; it's priceless."
...
("Sheila, those two men did not come here to have sex on the table --
they came here to get their breakfast. If you don't want 'em, give 'em
to me.")
("You can have 'em. And I thought you was a Christian.")
("Honey, I am a Christian. I been a Christian for years. I know
the Bible says God don't approve of two men doin' what we think they do,
but let me just tell you somethin':
"I'm 60 years old, and I lived a long, hard, fast life before I came to
the Lord. I know that I am not without sin myself. And Sheila, honey,
I am too damn busy askin' for forgiveness to go pickin' up the first
stone. And I know you know what I'm talkin' about.
"So if you're not going to serve these people their food, just hand it
to me so I can.")
...
"Jim? A 30% tip?"
"Tell you about it in the truck."
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Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1999, 1:25 p.m.
"San Francisco is coming up, Jim."
"I see that."
"Didn't Carolyn move there a couple of years ago?"
"Yep."
"Were you, like, thinking of looking her up on the way down?"
"Now, just why would I want to do that, Sandburg?"
"Well, I thought you guys stayed friends and we're going to be ...
there ... so I just thought ..."
"Sandburg ... Blair ... She's my ex-wife."
"That shouldn't be a problem. She's met me before. We don't have to
mention anything's changed here."
"Are you kidding? She knows me. Almost as well as you do. She'd take
one look at us and know on the spot. Besides, didn't you say that
this trip was sort of like a 'honeymoon'?"
"Yeah, I guess not too many guys visit their ex-wives on their
honeymoons. Would be uncool. "
"'Uncool' pretty much covers it, Chief."
...
"Jim? How many of our other friends do you think can tell by looking at
us? I mean, besides Megan and Carolyn."
"Really don't know, Chief. We'll know soon enough, though. You
worried?"
"No. .. Yes .. I don't know, a little. You?"
"Not much I can do about it if they do. I'll just have to face it when
it happens."
"We will be facing it, Jim. Together. Remember that."
"Love you too, Chief."
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Date: Wed, 6 Jan 1999, 10:35 p.m.
"No, Jim, man, I'm sorry -- I just can't."
"Aagh! Why not, Babe."
"Can't you hear that?"
"Chief, I can hear the motor in the motel pool at the back of the
building. I can hear the damn bell that rings every time somebody
opens the manager's office door. Can't I hear what?"
"Well, even a non-sentinel can hear the water-running and the TV in the
next room. These walls are thin, man."
"Do you really think they can hear us?"
"Jim, I can hear the ticking of the clock next to the bed in their
room. They can hear us."
...
(squeak-squawk .. squeak-squawk .. squeak-squawk .. 'ohhh,
ga-a-a-a-a-a-wd' .. )
"Oh man, now I can hear them! I'll never get to sleep!"
"Well, Chief, they're too distracted to pay much attention to us ..
might as well join the chorus, hmm?"
"(giggle) Sure, Jim. .. But you gotta stop tickling, man, or I won't be
able to help you balance out that soprano."
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