Title: Ladies Night
Author/pseudonym: R.A. Swain
Fandom: Crossover 'toon stuff
Paring: It's a surprise (f/f)
Rating: PG for implied innuendo.
Status: 7/02/01
Archive: Yes, please. You have my permission to archive.
E-mail address for feedback: raswain@internettrash.com
Sequel:Part of the the Lounge Series
Other websites:
Disclaimers: The characters are not my property. They are used without permission,
and are used for the sole intent of entertainment and not for profit. Note other
disclaimers at beginning of story.
Notes: Just something I had to do.
Summary: Doc talks to two of his patrons.
Warnings: None I can think of at the moment.
Disclaimer: The following story contains implied adult subject matter. If you
are under the age of 21 you should not be reading this and it is illegal for
you to possess it. If you read beyond this point, you are claiming to be 21
years of age, and that it is legal for you to possess adult oriented material.
Ladies Night
by R.A. Swain
Doc wiped down the bar and glanced toward the door. He did a double take. Now
it wasn't that Doc Swain's Lounge wasn't open to all fandoms, nor did he have
anything against 'toon, having ventured their himself from time to time, just
to keep up on changing trends, but his double take was more out of surprise
then anything else.
Oh sure he, along with the rest of the slash world, had heard about the revelations,
but rumors always abound in the slash realms. Doc wasn't the kind of guy to
pay much attention to rumors, unless they were really juicy, but this one was
going to throw a lot of people for a loop.
He observed the two 'toons enter the lounge, and watched them swagger up to
the bar. Actually, it looked as tho' they'd been enjoying themselves at a few
other establishments before his, and it was more of a stagger than a swagger.
He approached them cautiously, knowing the powers of manipulation 'toons possess.
"Whaddya have, ladies?" he asked.
The thin one leaned her elbows on the bar and rested her chin on her intertwined
fingertips. "Whaddya got?" she shot back.
"I've got it all. This is the best stocked bar in all of the slash realms.
You name it and I'll make it," Doc said, pride of ownership showing a bit
too much.
The other lady, with the bouffant hair spoke up. "We've been drinking a
bit already. Do you suppose maybe just a nightcap?"
"A cordial, perhaps?" Doc asked.
"I was thinking a shot of whiskey, straight up, and a beer chaser for myself,
and sloe gin fizz for my friend," she replied.
Doc nodded and wandered back to the far end of the bar, mixing and pouring from
the special labeled animated beverages section, returning to his customers a
few moments later. "Here you go," he said, placing the drinks in front
of the ladies.
"Start a tab," the bouffanted lady said. "We're here to forget
men, and enjoy our new found sisterhood. Drinks all around."
Doc nodded, and busied himself as the more alcoholic of his clientele rushed
to the bar before the drunken 'toon realized how much she was spending. After
several moments, he returned to his patrons. "Forgive me for asking, I've
heard about your friend's man problems, they've been all over the news, but
I thought you and your husband were very happy together. What happened?"
"He's a putz," she answered. "Always shoveling donuts in his
face, and spending time at Moe's, drinking with the boys. Sure, he's drinking
with the boys. He doesn't think I know about him and Barney, and Apu. and Smithers.
Oh, I can stand it most of the time, but a woman has needs. I was find, resigned
to sneaking over to the South Park realm for an occasional afternoon with the
Mayor, but I needed more then just a quickie, I needed the full relationship.
Then, when I ran into Olive, over in the Xena Realm, pouring her heart out to
Gabrielle, well, it was love at first sight. Wasn't it sweetheart?"
"You tell it, sister," Olive said, slightly slurring her words, and
guzzling her drink. "I'm not mad at my Popeye. I'm just so relieved he
and Bluto have finally admitted their feelings for one another, instead of beating
each other up in an attempt to sublimate their sexual attraction. But, like
Marge said. A woman's got needs. Besides, our men were pigs."
"Pigs?" Doc asked, already sorry he'd gone this far, but knowing there
was no turning back.
"Yes," Marge replied. "Homie would hop in the saddle and ride
like a bucking bronco, for a couple of minutes at the most. Then, he'd fall
asleep."
"Yeah," Olive chimed in. "And Popeye was the same way. Even on
spinach. It was wham-bam-thank-you-mama. That's why I was over in the Xena realm.
I saw how loving Gabrielle and Xena were together, how gentle, and I just wanted
to see if I could get a piece of that blonde honey for myself."
"I was there for the leather and chain mail," Marge put in. "Besides,
I'd already had Xena when she guest starred on our show. She showed me some
of the oriental techniques she knew."
"Will you show me later, honey?" Olive asked.
"Of course I will, precious. I've got something very special planned for
tonight." Marge placed her credit card on the bar. "Cash us out, stud.
Me and my girlfriend have got some serious lovin' to do."
Doc rang up their tab, and handed Marge her card back, along with her receipt.
"I'm glad you dropped in," he said.
"We'll be back," Olive said. "I hear the evil vampire slayer
hangs out here. Margie and I are looking for a three way with a honey like her."
Doc watched as the two ladies staggered from the bar. He shook his head. It
was just another night in the lounge.