Title: Whose Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?
Author/pseudonym: R.A. Swain
Fandom: The Charmings
Paring: Eric Charming aka Prince Charming
Rating: PG
Status: New 2/27/00
Archive: Yes, please. You have my permission to archive.
E-mail address for feedback: raswain@internettrash.com
Series/Sequel: Part of the Lounge Series
Other websites:
Disclaimers: The characters are not my property. They are used without permission, and are used for the sole intent of entertainment and not for profit. Note other disclaimers at beginning of story.
Notes: Got the idea after an e-mail I received from one of the gay lists I belong to, which was lamenting about the lack of Prince Charmings out there, and how they always seem to meet the Big Bad Wolf types.
Summary: Eric Charming AKA Prince Charming is lamenting about the lack of good slash sex he's had lately.
Warnings: It's a cute type story without real sex.

Disclaimer: The following story contains adult subject matter. If you are under the age of 21 you should not be reading this and it is illegal for you to possess it. If you read beyond this point, you are claiming to be 21 years of age, and that it is legal for you to possess adult oriented material.

This is a sexually oriented work of fiction. If sex between consenting adults, homosexuality or therein is offensive to you, DO NOT READ IT! By reading beyond this point you are accepting homosexuality and adult oriented material willing.


Whose Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?
by R.A. Swain

Sam The Sham's voice flowed from the jukebox, as Eric Charming strolled into the lounge and up to the bar. "Hey Doc, how's it going?"

"Hi Eric. Long time, where you been hiding?" Doc asked the Prince.

"Here and there, just out doing my Princely duties."

"So what'll it be?"

"Straight scotch," Eric said.

"Scotch? Eric, you don't drink. You're Prince Charming."

"Yeah, well, my image is changing."

Doc poured the drink and returned to Eric. "I don't get it, why the change?"

Eric lifted the glass to his lips and took a quick swig. He choked and coughed. "Darn, that's strong."

Doc eyed the forlorn Prince. "What's up?"

"Not me," Eric replied.

"Eric, I don't get it?"

"Neither do I," Eric retorted. "At least I haven't been for a long time. No one wants Prince Charming anymore, they all want the Big Bad Wolf."

A vague twinkle of understanding fell on Doc. "Are you talking about that Little Red Riding Hood incident?"

"Not only that," Eric said. "Look around this lounge. That guy over there, Alex, and the cute vampire, Spike, and all those others. They're the Big Bad Wolves. Oh sure, I'm the one they all want when it's time to settle down. Mr. bland and boring, Eric Charming. Doc, I want the hot sex too."

Doc almost laughed. "Eric, I've heard stories about you and Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater."

Eric blushed a bit. "Okay, so he and I--"

"And what about Jack B. Nimble?"

"Yeah, that candle stick trick was pretty hot, but the wax was murder on my sword."

"And speaking of swords, I heard about you and Jack Sprat too."

"Yeah, but the food fetish was a little strange."

"I heard you could hold ten pineapple rings on your sword," Doc said.

"It was twelve," Eric corrected. "But I'm tired of playing in the fairytale leagues. I want Fox Mulder, and Duncan MacLeod, and Daniel Jackson, and--"

"I get the picture," Doc said, "but what has that got to do with changing your image?"

"The Big Bad Wolves drink and smoke, and they do a lot more sexually than I've been doing lately." Eric finished his drink, slamming the empty glass down on the bar. "Whoa! That's really strong. Have you got any that might taste like peppermint?"

Doc smiled. "Eric, you don't want to change your image."

"Don't I?"

"No. You've been having sex just as hot as any of these wolves. I also heard you climbed the bean stalk with Jack."

"It's not as big of a stalk as Jack claims," Eric said, a slight slur become evident.

"The point is, these so-called wolves are getting the same kind of sex you are."

"But I want to be having it with some of them. I don't like to complain, Doc, but even Jack Horner gets slashier stuff than I do." Eric slumped his chin down on the bar with a thud.

"Jack Horner is always off in a corner playing with himself."

"Yeah, but in really public places."

"He's an exhibitionist, Eric." Doc took the bar rag, folded it in half and slipped it under Eric's chin. "The point I'm making is, these guys have their nitch, and you have yours. The fairytale worlds need hot slash just as much as all the other slashdoms. Remember, there aren't as many of you to go around. Sure, it looks like the wolves are getting the hotter sex. Come on, it's the bad boy image that gets them the reputations, but without good, reliable guys like yourself to balance it out, there would be no wolves."

Eric was quiet for a moment, either pondering Doc's words or drifting off to sleep. He leaned out on his elbows. "I'll buy that, Doc, but do you think you could arrange a slash for me with Fox Mulder? Just once? You know, kind of a couple of good guys just enjoying each other's company? Come on Doc, be a pal. Please?"

"all right Eric, I'll talk to Fox, but just this one time."

"If you can't get Mulder, Robin Hood, the cute dark haired one, would do." Eric's head slumped back down on the bar and he was asleep.

Doc signaled to a couple of cartoon weasels he employed for just such emergencies. "Take him to the back room, gently." He ordered, pondering the possibilities of both Mulder and Robin Hood for Eric. After all, Eric did have a birthday coming up soon.

The End

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