Whoa, Melly! (4 July 2001)
We still don't like Melinda. So. Yeah. Join us.
Hello Everyone! Let the countdown begin...20 days until Celebrity hits the streets. Happy 4th of July! We have a show tonight in Little Rock. Therefore, yesterday we had our 4th celebration. All the guys bought fireworks and boy oh boy did they put on a show. I am sure the neighbors enjoyed it. (hope we didn't keep anyone awake, LOL) We played Volleyball, had water fights, watermelon eating contest..yeah Poodle won!! Played twister, and barbequed. it was lots of fun.
KD: who the fuck is Poodle?
KD: and wouldn't you love to see her playing Twister? I bet Joey uses it as an excuse to grope the wardrobe girls.
WD: AHHAAH! I bet!
WD: You don't play that game now if you're over 15 if it's not sexual in some way.
KD: exactly! it's like tickling. It's about nookie.
WD: She neglects to mention the cops coming for Joey's ass.
WD: With the fireworks.
KD: maybe she was all "Guys! Let's play Twister!" and then she kept "accidentally" falling on top of Justin.
KD: I know! losery ho. how dumb IS he?
WD: "Oops! My hand slipped!"
WD: I don't KNOW! And they came for Justin the year before!
WD: That's so DUMB! And WT!
KD: "I thought you said "left hand on Justin's ass!" Sorry!"
KD: word! way WT.
WD: Haven't they seen those shows about people getting fingers blown off!
WD: AHAHHAHHAH
KD: I know! Just like that! Poof! no more Thrustin Justin!
KD: Timberlake family jewels- up in smoke!
WD: Horrors!
WD: I don't know how they can still want to set off fireworks after all that pyro night after night.
KD: they're probably deaf.
WD: They HAVE to be. I mean, I'm not a loud noise person. I don't know how they stand it.
KD: they're androids, remember. they can tune it out.
WD: I think so! Jesus.
Everyone in Vegas, I hope you heard Lance and Justin on the radio Monday. They called in to talk about Challenge For The Children. If you missed it call the stations and ask them to replay it. Justin called KLUC and Lance called KISS. I want to make sure everyone knows there are plenty of great seats left!! For Saturday's Skills Challenge the Plaza is the lower level! We had to push the bottom in because we have to fit the obstacle course and just so y'all know we are not even opening the balcony so EVERY seat is a great seat. Come now come out and support a good cause, besides how can you miss Justin trying to win the slam dunk contest? The best thing to do is to call 1 800 tickets and get the two day ticket!
KD: I love how she's begging us to buy tickets. It's obviously not doing too well.
KD: She uses way too many !!!!!!!!s.
WD: I can't believe she's pimping the "economy two day pass"
KD: AHAHAH! I know!
KD: this is probably her pet project. And it's all fucked up.
WD: That's so WRONG. You need to remain a little removed and just encourage people to come naturally.
KD: It sounds so desperate!
WD: Dude, I bet! This year Johnny put her TOTALLY in charge.
KD: "Please? Please come watch JC get dumped into a pool of jello? Please?"
WD: And she was like "It'll be the best year ever, boss!"
KD: so THAT'S why it's fucked up!
KD: ahahahahaha!
WD: And now it's going to hell and she's freaking.
KD: "I'm counting on you, Melly. The boys and girls of America are counting on you."
KD: the pressure got to her. combined with her Update deadlines, of course.
WD: "Allen and Shaq won't come because they can't be in the same room together! The best entertainment we can get is Color Me Badd!"
KD: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! CMB! Wright did them, didn't he? He could totally get them.
Other news, Lance and Joey's movie has been testing and people LOVE IT! It will be in theaters the end of September, beginning of October. All of you that have been to a concert have seen the trailer.
KD: So... do you buy that? That test audiences love the movie?
WD: I don't know! They're probably all just fans that have come from the shows and they give them passes.
WD: Do you think Lance and Joe are sneaking into screenings?
KD: Yeah, that sounds about right.
KD: AHAHAHAHAH!
WD: I mean, it's GOT a ready made audience.
KD: It does. Will you go?
WD: With fans. But will others go?
WD: Yes.
KD: I don't know. I don't see Lance as a leading man, you know? Will other teenies go?
WD: OH GOD!
KD: so will I. sigh. fuckers.
WD: I will.
WD: It looks CUTE! Dear lord.
WD: I think they will.
KD: but how can Lance not suck? this mystifies me.
Don't forget if you are attending a sound check party, write the guys a short note with your section and seat number and if you hand it to me it just might be part of the show that evening. Thank you to everyone that has given them fan letters. They really enjoy reading them and I truly can say we have THE BEST fans in the world!!!
WD: WE! OH GOD. There it is.
KD: "Dear Justin, I'm in seat 15, section 346. I'm wearing a tube top and hotpants. And I have big boobs. And I'm legal. Involve me in the show, please!"
KD: yes! WE! WE WE WE WE. Shut up.
WD: AHAHHAHAHHA
KD: don't you want to swap one of those fan letters for one about JC's hair?
WD: Yes. Beat up the person who hands Joe the letters and put in your own.
KD: ahahahah!
KD: he wouldn't even notice.
KD: he'd just start reading.
KD: we should slip him the Hair Petition!
WD: "Dear JC. What's the deal with the pants you have on now? Do you realize they have flora on them?"
KD: AHAHAHAHAHA!
WD: He reads them while Justin yaps during the slows!
KD: "Will you be sporting pants made out of cat hair soon?"
WD: And while others have solos.
WD: He's reading the next letter.
WD: How are you supposed to get to Melinda to give her the letter?
KD: If you're a true fan, you'll know.
KD: This is the WORST:
As usual I am late packing my bags, luggage call in 15 minutes...go have a great day, and do something nice for someone!
Stay *NSYNC
Melinda
KD: Do something nice for someone! Shut the fuck up!
WD: Do you think for the next leg, since Melinda is getting so "big" she'll have a group of lackeys collect letters and stuff?
WD: AHAHAHHAHAHAH
WD: OMG
WD: Melinda the humanitarian.
WD: Jesus.
KD: AHAHAHAHAHAH! Maybe she'll get fans chanting outside the hotel for her! "Me-Lin-Da!"
KD: I know! she pisses me off. a lot.
WD: Why do we...does she tell us what SHE'S doing just to be all "I'm on the NSYNC tour and you're not!"
KD: ...you know? That's pretty much it!
WD: AHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA
WD: She takes what could be a great outlet to fill in fans and turns it into the Melinda Show.
KD: "Hey, losers, Melly Mel here. I just finished shagging Justin - he looks hot, by the way - and I'm about to go shoe shopping with Lance - Prada's having a sale! My life is great, and you suck. Have a good one!"
KD: Yes! I understand that they can't tell us what *really* goes on. But this is ridiculous, dude.
WD: I know!
WD: And AHAHAHHAHAHAH
WD: You're exactly right.
KD: She's like... do you think she was a big nerd in high school?
KD: and this is her Revenge?
WD: Probably!
KD: What a... ew. She should at least learn how to write.
WD: Yes! That's exactly what it seems like. Like this is directed right Bobbi Lyn who made fun of her for wearing a velour jumpsuit in gym class every day
KD: AHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
KD: "So I never had a date! I have the biggest boyband in the world at my beck and call! Bitches! yeah!"
Back to Reviews
Back to the Shaaa-zay Cafe