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Supreme
Beings Organize KKK Scouts
POWDERLY, KY- The Imperial Klans
of America Knights of the Ku Klux Klan have decided to focus on recruiting
younger Americans for their holy army. The popularity of the KKK
has declined in recent years, what with the civil rights fad and all.
To combat the decrease in new members, the KKK has created the KKK Scouts,
an all-male outdoorsman group targeted at eight-to-14-year-olds.
Benjamin Brown, a spokesman
for the Klan, said that it is important to begin teaching children about
white supremecy as early as possible. "With the KKK Scouts, kids
will go on trips to the woods where they will participate in activities
like fishing, archery, and burning crosses."
The boys will be taught
about all the wrongs of minorities, said Brown. "We feel it necessary
to inform these kids of the injustices imposed upon the white race by other
races; injustices like the black stranglehold over UPN and the WB, the
humbling and humilating ability of Orientals to do math so readily, and
the monopoly illegal Mexicans have over cheap, difficult manual labor whites
would never do."
Even after buying the
rights to use Joe Camel to attract children, the KKK Scouts have seen low
turnouts. In a recent act of desperation, the KKK has attempted to
get black children to join. "We feel that we can convince these black
kids that they are horrible creations not fit for white consumption and
that they should kill each other," said Brown. "Maybe if they (blacks)
go to war with each other, we (whites) won't have to spend so much on ammunition."
The Klan is attempting
to gain the attention of black boys by claiming that the first "K" in KKK
stands for "Kool," a brand of cigarette popular among blacks. "We're
calling ourselves 'Menthol Aryans' in hopes of getting blacks to join,"
said Brown. "I think it'll work."
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