Meaning of Life
   Scurry along drones, workers, robots, yes-men.  All of you, be gone.  I'll just sit back and watch you all from my beautiful leather swivel chair, drinking my wine cooler, knowing the ultimate secret of the universe.  Oh, what's that?  You want to know the meaning of life?  Well haha!  All right then, I suppose you've worked hard and waited patiently.  The meaning of  life, is, in one word... Fucking.
   That's right- I'll give you time to slow your spinning head down, young one.  All this shit about spiritual fulfillment and karma and what not is, well, shit.  We are animals, and we ain't fucking enough.  Poor people got it straight; forget owning shit.  Shopping takes up much-needed fucking time.
   It's all about perpetuation of the species.  Why you think cockroaches are everywhere?  Because they trying on Abercrombie pants?  Hell, no.  They eat and fuck and eat and fuck and fuck.  We need to take a page from the book of roach.
   So how do we get back to the basics (i.e. fucking)?  Well, seeing as civilization has obscured and impeded evolution, we need to all move to the woods and fuck.  You know you want it, baby.
   Why isn't this on the News page, man?  Op/Ed- come on, man.