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Houston
Rockets Draft White Guy
HOUSTON- The
Houston Rockets, in a move that defines unorthodoxy, selected a white player
in the 2000 NBA Draft Wednesday. The Rockets, who had a sub par 1999-2000
season, were hoping to improve their team with the ninth pick of the draft.
But for reasons unbeknownst to basketball experts, they selected some white
guy.
"What is this, the 19th century?" asked Bob Costas, an announcer for NBC.
"White guys playing professional sports went out with the handlebar moustache."
Some reasoned that perhaps selecting this hockey-loving motherfucker was
a decoy for some ambush of young, black talent. But that theory was
shot down when the Rockets decided to trade that Friends-watching motherfucker--
for another white guy!
"What the hell is going on here?" said Bill Russell, former Boston Celtics
great. "Trading a white guy for a white guy is like trading dirt
for dirt. When I played there were a couple of those Celine Dion-listening-to
motherfuckers, but we didn't even notice them. They were just there
to fill up the roster."
"I don't see why you people are making such a big deal out of him being
white," said Rudy Tomjanovich, the Rockets head coach. "The kid's
got a great post-up game, and plays team defense. I don't understand."
Tell me about it, you Snapple-drinking motherfucker.
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