Ultimate Entertainment Box Released
   Phillips-Magnovox, in association with Sony, in conjunction with Casio, released the new StimuliStation Thursday.  The six inch by three inch by one inch device, dubbed the "Ultimate Entertainment Box," acts as a television, cellular phone, and videogame system, priced at $659.  The Station requires eight C batteries, one nine volt battery, and one special chargeable battery ($15) for the phone.
   "We're quite proud of this invention," said a Phillips spokesman.  "We feel we're on the cutting edge of the digital revolution.  Finally I have something to quench my boredom- I can watch TV, talk to friends, and play games while driving to work- and so can millions of others."
   The television features four pictures in a picture, allowing the viewer not only to see five programs at once, but to listen to them with the aid of six speakers (sold separately, at $19 each) which plug into the Station.  After purchasing digital phone service from Sprint ($49 per month), one can use the Station as a portable phone.  The Box is also a video game player, with each game cartridge costing about $40.  A special chip that allows for color games to be played can be bought and installed for $129.  Color games cost $60.
   The StimuliStation also functions as a miniature computer, with the ability to surf the web and use e-mail, among other things.  Satellite internet service provided by AOL is available for $70 per month.  Another highlight of the Box is its radio capabilities.  The standard Box has AM radio; for $60 it can be upgraded to receive FM stations, too.
   Special DVD-like discs are being manufactured so that owners of the Box can play movies.  The movie-playing innovation can be added for $200, once it is available.  Discs will cost $25.
   The StimuliStation acts as an alarm clock, a can opener, a paper shredder, a scanner, a fax machine, and can play books on specially designed tapes ($30 each).
   "It's great to have something that fills the void in my life that couldn't be filled before," said Michelle Baxter, one of the first to purchase the Box.  "Suddenly, our meaningless existence has purpose.  With every conceivable electronic device rolled into one, I suspect I shall be happy at last."
   Future versions of the StimuliStation may be used as refrigerators, centrifuges, and tiny propulsion mechanisms for cave diving.