Due to the incredible cost of running a quality online satirical newspaper, I, Rudager P. Marshall, have been forced to run advertisements.  I swear to only run wholesome ads and to never let the content of The Rail be altered by influential advertisers.  New ads will be added on occasion. 
View them and obey them.  Onward and downward...

Little Debbie (Flash)
Blake's Pornography (Flash)

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Other ads
Not-so-subliminal George W. Bush ad  (Flash)
Snoop Dogg for Milk