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World's Greatest Author Dies
LINCOLN, Neb.– Cliff Hillegass, one of the most prolific authors in history, passed away from stroke complications in his home Saturday .  He was 83. 
   Hillegass is generally regarded as the single most important writer the world has ever known, whose brilliant works from “Hamlet” to “1984” touch students in junior high school and beyond, all the way up to graduate school.
   “God his books were so good,” said Gerald Spasky, a senior English major at Harvard.  “‘Catch-22,’ both hilarious and horrific, affected me like few other works can.”
   Hillegass began writing in 1958, and since then he has churned out countless classics.
   “‘Ulysses’ was incredible,” said Ed Foster, a junior English major, also at Harvard.  “I read it three times last week.  God Bless Cliff Hillegass.”
   Despite his widely accepted greatness, the modest Hillegass preferred to have all of his books and plays feature identical covers: yellow with black diagonal stripes, a mountain in the lower right corner, and the title of the work in the upper center.
   “That's the only problem I have with the guy,” said Spasky.  “I have so many of his novels, it takes me forever to find one I'm looking for because of the matching covers.  It's especially troubling when I have a test in, like, two hours.”
   Notable works by Hillegass include “The Great Gatsby,” “The Brothers Karamazov,” “Wuthering Heights,” “Investing in 401(k) Plans,” and scores of others.
 

Hillegass, inspired by God, wrote the 
entire Bible in two convenient parts.

 
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