I’m Very Disappointed in You People
   I’ve had enough.  Usually I just kick back and watch the world go by, rarely intervening.  Sure every now and then I do something to help you guys out-- you know: kill a Kennedy, let you catch a foul ball, put an end to New Coke, whatever.  I’m clearly a great Individual, so why are you people fucking up so badly lately?  To what am I referring?  Electing that Bush fellow, that’s what.
   Sure you may laugh at the jokes about George W. Bush being a moron, but I’ll tell you something that’s not funny: George W. Bush is a moron.  I’ll let you in on a little secret: every now and then I take a break and let some helpers assemble souls and consciences as I sip my latte.  These helpers aren’t as well trained as I, so they botch the job sometimes.  Bush was one of those mistakes.  He wasn’t even supposed to live past his tenth birthday!  Also, he said that the “jury is still out” on evolution.  Jesus Christ.  What can be said?  Read a book, shitbrain.  How did this goof get even one vote?
   What’s worse is you elected him with a dated voting system that was biased against the guy with the most votes, but you knew that, I know.  Well, anyway, my main point is that I’ve done so much for you and you just throw it down the proverbial drain like so much dogma. 
   I’ll sit back no longer-- it is time for another plague.  Yes, I know it’s been a while so I’ll refresh your memory: I send some bad stuff down and you change your ways.  And by changing your ways I mean getting rid of Vinnie Boobarino.  I know this chick who can hook me up with some flying monkeys, so watch out.