Creatine, Androstenedione Take Over 5th Spot on Home Run List
NEW YORK— St. Louis Cardinals sluggers Creatine and Androstenedione hit home run number 574 Saturday against the Mets, taking possession of the fifth spot on the all-time home run list from Harmon Killebrew.
   “I feel so blessed,” said Creatine.  “And I'm not done yet,” continued the tiny capsule, “Hank [Aaron, 1st on the list with 755] knows it.”
   Despite the high performance associated with both Creatine and Androstenedione, the two have combined for a mere 20 homers this season, in contrast to the record-breaking 70 in 1998.
   “It's been a rough year, as far as home runs go,” said Androstenedione.  “But Creatine and I have stuck together, and we'll come out fine.  Everyone has slumps.”
   The two powerhouse hitters only need 12 more home runs to tie Frank Robinson for the fourth spot, a goal likely to be reached before season's end.
   “I can see us taking over the fourth spot this season, and then, well who knows?” said Creatine.  “If we can get Anadrol on the team, we'd take the top spot in two seasons, easy.”
   In spite of the fact that they can't help looking toward the future, Creatine and Androstenedione are focusing on the present.
   “I'm here to win games first, hit home runs second,” said Androstenedione.  “I couldn't do either without Creatine or my hitting coach, Juiced Balls.”