When I began, it was all in good fun
“He's much less articulate than the first one!”
Stumbling and bumbling over words as I do
Parodied by Leno, Conan, and Letterman too.

I didn't care for international talks and relations
I, like us all, chose to ignore indications
But who would have thought the acts of one Tuesday morn
Would allow me to treat the rest of the world to my scorn?

All patriots are called to hail to the chief
And realize that contrary to popular belief:
You are not allowed to question my authority
Since dissent is not a part of American history!

War is what we need to save the world
From Iraqi despots' tyranny unfurled
But North Korea, can't you see
Must be conquered with diplomacy!

Kim Jong Il flaunts his nuclear arms:
“Look at me! I'm dangerous! Be alarmed!”
But we dare not put soldiers on that soil
For Dick Cheney's friends are in search of oil!

Saddam must have weapons of mass destruction
In spite of our own intelligence deductions
We must look elsewhere to make something of it
Thank God for our lapdogs—the jolly good Brits! 

Now my friends it is plain to see
By you, by him, and most certainly by me
That our justification was dubious at best
Don't know about you, but I need a rest!

What would you do if daily you heard:
“No jobs! Terrorism! 
War without explanation!”
Answer: Just about time for another vacation.

Of course there's nothing easy about vacation
When you're a first time, first term administration
Money I need from these conservative saps
And thank God for the lack of strong Democrats!

Americans must focus on other issues at hand
For soldiers have another year in another land
Liberian conflict, the economy's not right
Troubles all around with no end in sight!

What must I do to avoid scrutiny?
Apparently not much, as you will see
The average American cares not for the news
He's entranced with Law & Order: SVU!

Kobe Bryant: charged with rape
Gigli: a tremendous mistake
California's race is completely out of whack
Now all we need is a shark attack!

Few and far between were the rages
Directed at those twenty-eight pages
Do you see now how much respect I command?
I'll rewrite the Constitution with a wave of my hand!

Homosexuality is a terrible sin
And gays must not wed, according to Him
“Government hands off” is still our song
Unless, of course, your preference is wrong!

Example after example I present to you
For more on my success, tune to Fox News
And to all those who quipped, “He'll only be remembered as a son!”
Know this: I've only just begun.