Americans Impatiently Waiting for More Terrorist Attacks
NEW YORK– Americans in the prime target city of terrorist attacks, as well as those across the country, are becoming impatient in their wait for more attacks.
   “What's going on here?  It's been almost two months,” said New Yorker Adrian Russell.  “Hey terrorists, we're waiting.”
   There have been numerous rumors on the internet and television regarding future terrorist attacks, but none have been realized.  The nation is understandably frustrated.
   “There's been so much crap circulating,” said one Los Angeles resident.  “First it was stay out of the malls on Halloween, then it was look out L.A. last weekend, and now there's some shit about bridges.  Christ Almighty terrorists, get it together.”
   The recent anthrax cases in the nation have done little to appease the public.
   “Like four or five people have died, right?” asked Jeremy Coats, a Miami resident.  “What is this, Chinese water torture?  OK, let's extrapolate a little, terrorists.  At this pace, it'll take you 10,000 years to kill us all.  Back to the drawing board, fuckheads.”
   Federal and local officials have been encouraging Americans to resume to their normal lives since the September attacks, but with the potential for more threats on the horizon, it has been difficult.
   “I'm not the same,” said one New York businesswoman.  “I'm still wary of everything around me.  I watch suspicious people carefully and shudder as I walk into high rises.  I can't stop thinking about what could happen.  Fuck, terrorists, just get on with it.  You're killing me here.”