Experts Agree: Nothing Will Ever Be Funny Again
NEW YORK– With America still in the wake of the World Trade Center and Pentagon terrorist attacks, many questions still remain: How could this elaborate scheme go unnoticed?  Will we be able to defeat such a nebulous enemy?  What will be the effects on our civil liberties?  And perhaps most significantly, will anything ever be funny again?  The answer to the last question, according to humor experts, is no.
   Television and film personalities and comedy writers convened in New York City on Monday for the Prospect of American Humor Conference to discuss the future of American comedy.  The vast majority of attendees agree that nothing can ever be funny in the United States ever again.
   “How can I ever laugh like before?” asked Late Show host David Letterman.  “I'll think, yeah, that's funny, and may want to crack a smile, but, you know, terrorism.”
   The country began questioning the future of American humor when late night programs like Letterman's returned to the air with solemn overtones.
   “Jay [Leno] was all serious and somber,” noticed one New Yorker.  “I was like, ‘If Jay isn't funny, is this the end?’”
   It very well may be, say 61 of the 64 conferees.  As long as the horrible images of the attack remain in our memory, nothing shall amuse the U.S. public beyond a smirk or perhaps a mild snicker.
   “Well, it was fun while it lasted,” said one sitcom writer.  “I suppose we'll all have to get jobs writing drama, or just move to Mexico and write for ‘Bienvenidos’ or ‘Sabado Gigante.’”
   Formerly humorous late night talk shows will continue producing new episodes, but their long term future is uncertain.
   “We have to be low key now, of course,” said Letterman.  “But when can we get silly again?  Can you imagine that moment when we change from seriousness back to goofiness?  I can't.  It's over.  It's all over.”