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| The Rail Poll #14 |
| What is the greatest team never to make the NCAA basketball tournament? |
| 1. Black People Everywhere University (45.7%)
2. Sac State (10.9%) 3. John Ream Job University (8.7%) 3. Jordache University (8.7%) 5. Digglerton (6.5%) 6. College of Rhesus and Howler (4.3%) 6. Fugton College (4.3%) 6. St. Jugdish's (4.3%) 6. Univeristy of Bludgeoning at St. Louis (4.3%) 10. California Institute of Polydactylism (2.2%) |
| The Rail Poll #13 |
| How will Michael Jackson die? |
| 1. Blood-purification mishap (26.5%)
2. Falls in the tub (24.8%) 3. Eaten by hippopotamus (11.5%) 4. Suicidal emu ride off a building (8.8%) 5. Sets fire to self in street protest (8.0%) 6. Decapitated by helicopter rotor (7.1%) 7. Fired out of cannon into lion pit (3.5%) 7. Murdered by fugitive Charles Manson (3.5%) 7. Plane crash in Nepal (3.5%) 10. Drowns on own toboggan ride (2.7%) |
| The Rail Poll #12 |
| What is America's best point in support of a war against Iraq? |
| 1. Europe doesn't want war, but these are the same
fucks who drink warm beer and dip their fries in mayonnaise (25.5%)
2. The president's other option--having his dick sucked--was taken five years ago (18.2%) 3. Saddam Hussein picked "Notting Hill" as his favorite movie (14.5%) 4. The Arab world will accept us when they see how cool are guns and jets are (12.7%) 5. Two birds with one stone: we'll waste less fuel hitting them on the way home from Afghanistan (9.1%) 6. Bono may just give up (7.3%) 7. Moby said weapons of mass destruction are bad (5.5%) 8. NPR? Who listens to that? (3.6%) 9. CNN will get to play 'Ride of the Valkyries' before each update (1.8%) 9. Many cool-ass shirts that say "Iroq Iraq" to be had by returning soldiers (1.8%) |
| The Rail Poll #11 |
| If, in exchange for your good deeds, God allowed you to commit one sin without retribution, what would you do? |
| 1. Throw bowling balls off Empire State Building
(32.4%)
2. Push Pope into swimming pool (22.1%) 3. Rent 'Showgirls' (13.2%) 4. Kill Barry Bonds (11.8%) 5. Kick Salvation Army Santa's ass (8.8%) 6. Skysurf naked (5.9%) 7. Fornicate with ape (2.9%) 8. Marry ape, then have sex with him (1.5%) 8. Get cartoon devil tattoo on ass (1.5%) 10. Eat five Big Macs, watch SportsCenter (0%) |