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Racism
Summit Concludes with Joke Exchange
DURBAN, South Africa– Attendees
at the U.N. world racism summit concluded the conference by attempting
to top one another with racist jokes Saturday. The meeting had focused
on slavery reparations and Middle East conflict, but the conferees decided
to end the summit on a more pleasant note.
“How do you address
a black man in a three-piece suit?” asked European Union negotiator Louis
Michel. “Will the defendant please rise?”
Others were quick to
play along, each trying to better the previous joke.
Mary Robinson, the
secretary-general of the conference, jumped in, “Why aren't there any Puerto
Ricans in Star Trek? Because they ain't working in the future either.”
After a long spell
of laughter, the attendees calmed down and resumed the exchange.
“Did you hear about
the latest Jewish sports car?” asked Munir Akram, Pakistan's U.N. ambassador.
“It can stop on a dime—and pick it up.”
Delegates were pleased
to learn new jokes they could bring home and spread.
“We've really had a
lack of good racist jokes lately,” said Michel, of Belgium. “Fortunately,
this four-hour long marathon has given us something better than, say, the
Polish Navy's submarines with screen doors.”
In all 317 jokes were
told, with many attendees contributing five or more jokes each.
Robinson, considered
the most well-versed in racist humor, ended the summit with the final joke:
“Why don't Vietnamese play hockey? Because if they get thrown in
the corner they put up a store.”
EU spokesman Koen Vervaeke,
though considering the conference a success, mentioned the disappointment
of the delegates in not finding a decent racist joke against whites.
“Three hours into the
jokes, people started getting restless,” he said. “So many jokes
about blacks, Asians, Jews, and Hispanics, but nothing really about American
whites, other than some lame red neck jokes, which apply to only a small
portion of the population. Hey, what's the difference between a black
guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.”
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