First New Slang of 2000 Introduced
NEW HAVEN, CT.- Language experts at Yale University's Center for the Advancement of Linguistics (CAL) have released the first new official slang word of 2000.  The word is price and is defined as "exceptional quality or condition of physical appearance (esp. females)" or "the exceptional body part or parts in focus."
     One may say, "That girl has the price," meaning the subject either seems attractive in general or it may be used to draw attention to a particular attribute (e.g. breasts).
     Experts are optimistic that (the) price won't be overused because it is somewhat difficult to say, and therefore must be reserved for only special situations in which a female is extraordinarily beautiful.
     "We don't want this to turn into another phat or sweet," said Daniel Sikarol, who worked on development.  "We don't expect the price to have the popularity of the legendary cool or the perseverance of the Ironman, fly, but we do expect it to last long enough to hold us over till next year."
     CAL became the center of American slang development in the 1950s, when words like swell and nifty ran uncontrollably through the voice boxes of teens nationwide.  President Eisenhower turned to CAL to come up with some new slang, so they created cool, which has become the standard by which all other slang is to measure up to.
     But CAL came under criticism for abuse of power in the mid-60s .  The Center began generating huge amounts of mindless slang like groovy and far out.  The group also created the short-lived but detrimental language Jive.
     Finally, in 1977, Congress was able to check the power of CAL, putting a ten year ban on the Center from any slang development.  Slang evolution was virtually nonexistent during these years, but once the Center was allowed to work again, it quickly drew up an ambitious plan to add one legitimate slang word to the English language every year.  Popular words which came from this promise were phat, tight, crunk, whack, and the (or tha or da) bomb.
     The Center came under fire recently for supposedly pushing Ebonics as a new language, but subsequent investigations found no evidence supporting this claim.
     Although proper etiquette for using (the) price has yet to be published, the Center is encouraging the use of the word so that people may become accustomed to it early.  Traditionally, rigid grammar rules have not been as important as general popularity.  CAL employees can only hope (the) price can be successful enough to become mainstream, allowing them to keep their jobs for one more year.