Nation Prepares For Sunday's Five-Hour Relief From the Agony That is Life
   As the Super Bowl approaches, Americans are readying themselves for a temporary release from the agonizing routine that is life on Earth.  The glint of hope associated with Sunday's big game is evident at a St. Louis supermarket, as people gather supplies for Sunday's big game.
   “I can't wait for Sunday,” said Herman Manning, a St. Louis resident.  “If only for a few hours, I can sit down with my buddies and forget that my life is a vicious cycle of meaningless work and unfulfilling leisure.”
   The momentary escape from the stress and general anguish inherent to humanity seems to be on everyone's mind.
    “Aren't you excited?” asked Rob Harrison, clutching two paper sacks filled with bags of Tostitos.  “All I think about as I cry myself to sleep at night, pondering the uselessness of my life, is how much dip to get.”
   Many experts see Sunday's game as a healthy exercise in hope.
   “Without something like the Super Bowl,” said Dr. Nathan Brooks, a psychologist at the University of Washington in St. Louis, “we could have a depression epidemic on our hands.  It's things like the Super Bowl and Christmas, which offer a brief glimpse of pleasure, albeit unattainable, that save us from self-destructing.”
   Shoppers planning to watch the Super Bowl feel the same way.
   “I understand that the game is just a tease of what life could be like,” said Jared Whitman, stroking an 18-pack of Budweiser.  “Nevertheless, it gives me a delectable taste of a fantasy world, a world in which I have a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.  Do you think the Giants can cover the spread?”
   Sadly, the post-game mentality is expected to be in sharp contrast to the hope associated with the game itself.
   “After the game, when everyone leaves, its unbearably lonely,” said Manning.  “I expect the inner void to return, along with the realization that I am a pawn—to cowardly to take initiative, to weak to do so even if I wanted to.”
   “All joy will be lost until May sweeps,” said Whitman.  “Until then, life will consist of nothing more than satisfying basic urges in a vain attempt to find purpose and scope.  I'm still looking forward to the game, though.  Hey, it only comes along once a year.”