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Tank Defeats
Chinese Kid in 38 Seconds
LAS VEGAS- Last night, after a mere
38 seconds into the match, a heavily favored T-72 tank beat the hell out
of some wiseguy Chinese kid. The kid, who just stood there staring
at the big-ass tank, was easily run down by the much larger T-72.
"It was stupendiglamicizing,
the way that gargantualific tank unlivified that boy," said Don King, the
fight's promoter. "This tank, T-Bone, is going to inhabitify the
top of the boxing world... uh... tion."
The T-72 lashed out
at Taiwan as he stood over his destroyed opponent: "I am the baddest,
most vicious fighter ever. I'm coming for you, Taiwanese kid.
I'm going to eat your children and rip out you heart and feed it to you.
Then I shall run over your skull."
The tank's disturbing,
borderline-psychotic comments have caused many to question whether it should
be allowed to fight again.
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