Michael Jackson still maintains he has had only two plastic surgery
operations.
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In accordance with city ordinances, citizens in Rio de Janeiro celebrate
being in Rio de Janeiro.
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The Texas Rangers take the saying "life imitates art" a little too
seriously after repeated viewings of "Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch."
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Nude demonstrators in Santiago protest the impending war with Iraq
while constantly saying to themselves, "Don't get an erection, don't get
an erection, don't get an erection..."
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It's a disturbing reality when the first thing anyone thinks about
upon seeing a picture of a panda on a snow-covered slide is panda sex life.
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"Every birthday, same thing. Ooh, another neck ring. How
about some Chanel or something?"
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Peace this, humanity that. This old guy's so out of touch.
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A broken mast for this America's Cup team proves that even God is sick
of seeing this bullshit on ESPN2.
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Hey, I'm on a roll. Wait, no, I'm on a biscuit...