We whined. We bitched. We wrote to Rosie. We went off about how we hated scalpers.
We whined. We bitched. We wrote to Rosie. We went off about how we hated scalpers.
We won't discuss about how my friend Helen and I got into the PSU Concert this Sunday. We just got in, m'kay? And we paid face value for good seats, m'kay?
We'll leave it at that.
We primped...but not too much. We got hoochied...but not too much. We were determined to be the "non-slutatious" fans. I think we pulled it off well.
For God's sake. We were slutatious no matter how you looked at it. I had on "fuck me" hoops! Cripes
I told KD I was off to party with my five cheapass dates. She wished us luck.
And we were off.
I refused to listen to NSYNC on the way there. I felt it would "jinx" us. Instead, we blared the new Limp Bizkit and DMX. Niiiice.
Now up until this point, we were cool. Calm. If we didn't get in, so be it. But as we drove past the Bryce Jordan Center (while blaring Sir Mixalot's "Baby Got Back", as sort of a Joey mating call), craning our necks for any possible glimpse of anything NSYNCdified. I could have seen Busta and still wet myself. And then, something strange settles over Helen's Cavalier. And we just become...teenies.
I'm not telling you about our random spazz-out, but at that moment, I was ashamed to be who I was. Very ashamed. My poor parents. They never knew I'd grow up to be WD, teeniebopper extrordinare.
We park and go meet up with Helen's friend, Mike. (Random GTYH Mike facts - Justin for one night stand, Hoey for relationship. Does he not realize Joey wears Superman - and he's not just being stupid when he does?) Good lord.
Mike thinks we're morons. Come on Mike, we know you're really a closet fan. Anyway, we head out to do some shopping beforehand - keeping our eyes peeled for anyone suspicious. Okay fine, our first target was Abercrombie and Fitch. You got a problem with that?! Mike begins yelling "Justin? Justin? Where are you?" People turn excitedly.
Evil.
We get bored. So we decide to have fun. We dress Mike up in shades and a hat. Surround him while talking on our cellphones (a la "Everybody's Free") and randomly refer to him as Justin. We get lots of stares.
It's fun.
But we tire quickly of this and decide to head to the arena. It's time for the fun to begin.
Outside The Arena
We were blown away by the sheer numbers of people outside. HOLY SHIT. It was a madhouse, a mix of bored parents, hoochie mama's, and girls (like us) were were looking cute but just wanting to have a good time. There were going to be no NSYNC hookups for us.
Dude, I'm not even going to comment. Too easy.
The air outside was like...a mix between adrenaline and Bath and Body Works.
Or something.
So, could you smell the hormones? I mean, if ever you're in a good spot to figure out if pheromones really work...
Anyway, the first guy I see with a ticket is hot. Yum. I went up to him and asked quietly "How much?" Dude, all undercover and shit. He's like "50." They're good seats. I think my mouth dropped open. We buy.
So cool, so NY Undercover. Bonus points for now knowing how JC feels several times a week.
Entering The Scene Of The Crime
We make our way inside. The hoochie wear intensifies. I saw more open back halters, sparkly tube tops, cowboy hats, and rockstar t-shirts then I'd ever care to see again. Good lord, hoochie hell!
You sort of wonder... I mean, dude. Does anyone ever get picked up at the concert? I suppose it must happen occasionally, but still. Interesting phenomenon. "Look at me, Justin! LOOK AT ME! So I'm about a mile from the stage, my boobs are falling out of my shirt and I'm sure you'll see them if I apply enough body glitter!"
It really is. The worst part is the halters and shit were on 16 year olds. It's just...so wrong. Really. But I bet they pack 'em onto the bus still. Service me, ye bitches!
Ew. I don't like that image. 18 and above- fair game. But everyone except maybe Justine needs to lay off people who just got their licence.
During all this mayhem, I notice the background music. For god's sake. Joshua the Porn Star has us listening to his favorite sexin' music, Sade'. Jesus. What person in their right mind really listens to Sade' anyway? Oh, okay, I was singing along. But dammit, I don't admit to shit like that!
And then I notice the teenies behind me. The one girl must have randomly been walking around and gotten meet and greet passes, and she screamed for five minutes about how she'd told each one that her friends were in love with them. Her friends were like (squeal) "YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT ME! OH MY GOD! JC KNOWS I EXIST!"
I'm not entirely clear on the concept of meet and greets. You stand in a line and walk by them and shake hands? Dude, that's almost more fun that I could handle. I'd need pills to deal with the excitement.
Sounds embarassing to me. I feel bad for them. Remember - Meet and Creep. I love Mark Hoppes.
Joey was apparantly in a pissy mood, said M&G love girl. But everyone else was nice. Juju was funny. (I love eavesdropping.) When he was told that "My friend so and so loves you!" He's like "So and so...is that the one with the head?" Crackass.
Do you think that's his standard hilarious remark, or did he make it up on the spot? Wow, odd thought comin' atcha: he has seen literally every way a fan can react to him. Nothing surprises him. He's had every conversation there is to have. He must get the worst deja vu. Back to you.
Indeed. But back to Meet and Creep chick. When he was told that one of the girls loved him, Lance said he loved her too.
Lance, you tease!
That caused pandemonium. I'm wishing I had an icepick at this point. For a moment, I wished I'd gotten into the Meet and Creep, because I was overcome with an urge to ask JC wtf his pants were in TIPY. Freak. I still say they're jackelo. See [this i promise you] for details on that.
The Opening Act
Steve Fatone comes out in this brightass orange shirt. I was the only on in my section who knew who he was. My exact words? "OH MY GOD! FAT-one!" People around me "Who's that? That's not Ju-ju!"
Poor Steve. Not getting his props. I guess his fame as Joe's bro just isn't as far-reaching as you'd think.
I'm surprised. I thought everyone knew about Steve.
Dammit, even I know about Steve.
Fuck. Maybe that says something really horrible about me. Dammit all!
Steve sounds exactly like Joseph Mac. Scary. He tells us it's not a show, it's a PARTY. Sure.
Good fucking line, Fatone. So Steve isn't just documenting Joey's sexual escapades, he's playing at MC? Is that right? Odd. I wonder how much he gets paid.
Dude, he's like...multi-talented. It really was more like a party, though. Fuckers. I hate them.
More randomness ensues:
~i5 = blah.
~Travis from soulDecision is so DAMN hot. WOW! They do a cool cover of "Summer of '69". Rockin'.
~The wave passed me by TEN times before people got sick of it. Now those are like Pringles. Once you pop...
And finally...NSYNC! Dun dun dahhhh!
Because I'm always the person who's curious about
random insignificant details (Me at six: "Yeah, I understand where babies
come from. What I want to know is, why do men have nipples?")
, I wondered about that. How they
get up there without being
spotted. So there's a velvet painting of them? Tres Barry
White.
It was SO Barry White. I'm sure you've seen the pic. It's the one where they're in black, and they all have their arms around each other. Except Chris is like...removed from the group. They're all really close together except him. I didn't get it.
"Shh... guys, if we kind of sidle away, maybe he won't notice we're gone..."
No Strings Attatched
FABULOUS! I love the extra pyro, and I hate loud noises. Joey fell during the routine and I just about thought my 50 dollars would go down the tubes.
Oh no! What happened? Was he okay? Did JC trip him or something?
I didn't see him fall, I saw him on the ground getting up. He fell right when they got into the first chorus.
Maybe he was wasted.
I bet he and Lance share a 40 before the show.
But anyway, he got back up and got back into the routine. I laughed. I'm awful.
I'm wondering what was up - with the falling or whatever. Strange. The teenie said he was pissy at the Meet and Creep. I bet he was kickin' some ass when he ran offstage after I Want You Back.
(Addendum - Joey's falling was mentioned on Rosie. AHAHA! JC brought it up. Bitch. Poor Joe.)
But anyway, never fear, they got back into it, and I have never heard
such screaming as
when Justin started singing. Okay, my loud voice
probably increased it by 10
decibels. WOW. Okay. I find him attractive now.
Dude, I really think the
BJC put something into the air filtration system. I know
they did. Bitches.
And JC in his stupid hat...fucker. I love that hat. Fuck! It's ugly! I love him in those stupid fedora's. And the hat didn't look so bad from where we were, the chinstrap wasn't really noticible. KD, kill me now. I know you hate it.
I Want You Back
Already, I'm screaming extra loudly when the choreography gets sexual. Dirty boys. The costumes don't look so bad from far away. I'm amazed by how HUGE the video screen is. It's like you're in the 2nd row. Okay. So I was pretty damn close, but still...Josh the freak has already had several hits, because he breaks into his "run around the entire stage screaming 'C'mon, UH!" routine. I gleefully sing along with Joey's "adlib" (which he's been doing since '98) of "I, I, oh yeah, I want you back babay!"
I really hate the choregraphy for this song.
Even the sexual bits?
Even those. I screamed anyway. God dammit.
God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On Thinking Up Such A Long Ass Title (Otherwise known as Saccharine Surprise)
Blah. Lance is much more charismatic in shows. He's more charismatic then Chris and Joe.
That is very odd. I don't understand how Chris can be Mr. Personality but when he's up there he's booooring as, say, the Beav is offstage.
It's really weird. I don't understand - JC is just a totally different person onstage. I don't GET it!! He just gets SO into it. He's on crack and just goes off. I was scared by it. Chris and Joe...they don't really do much to get the crowd into it. They're just...there.
Justin's "You!" when he wants the audience to sing is very annoying. And he still says "very nice" the same way he said on the MSG special. In fact, it's all pretty much the same. Dude. Why did I want to come see this again? Anyway, I'm a bit scared. Dude, change it up!
You know what I was wondering? If they can do this in the drone zone. Where they show up, do a concert, leave, and don't really remember it because they were on auto-pilot.
I have no doubt that they can. Dammit, another question for meet and creeps. Like, they did so many things that looked like they were "spontaneous" that they did in the MSG special. And the "Joey, they wouldn't catch you" thing they did at other concerts on this leg too.
Does it ever get that normal,
hearing thousands of people
scream your name?
Fuck. I bet they do get immune to it. I have NO idea how they function with all those girls screaming to the point of frenzy. It's DEAFENING.
Random semi-useful trivia: according to this guy my friend used to date, a sound technician, they have these in-ear monitors you can set various ways. You can set it so you can only hear yourself, or whatever. I guess they filter out the screams. Fuck. My penchant for useless facts strikes again.
JC was leaning on a mic stand so much when he started singing, I thought the thing was going to topple over. Trashed much? The raising platforms are nice, but pointless.
Tearin' Up My Heart
Ananda will die. DIE!
Um... :raises hand:... Still needing backstory. Why will Ananda die? Who is she, anyway? What the hell are you talking about?
Ananda is an MTV VJ who thinks she's a rockstar. They do this thing called TNL...did you hear about that? You vote for what you want next - Twinkle Twinkle, Mary Had a Little Lamb, something else, and Tearin'. I hate her. She annoys me. She has on aviators. She must die.
So... you're saying no one voted for Twinkle? Dude, I would have been all about the little star. Of course, I voted for Nader, so I can't be trusted.
We're told to clap our hands together and come on. We do. And we like it. Joshua breaks out a backflip. I like it. WTF. I'm infected.
It was cool. Someone else does one too. I think it might be Chris. Or Joe. They're better then the other flips they do.
How do all these poppy people learn backflips? *I* never learned them in gym class. Do they take lessons?
I have NO clue why they are so acrobatic. I guess it was a prereq for MMC. Oh wait...Christina can't even do a backwards roll. That doesn't work.
He also breaks out into his running thing again. More crack aparantly, with the quick wardrobe "change" I don't get it. I LOVE the lasers. LOVE them.
Juju's beatbox
Oh my good lord. I want the infant. Holy... And I'm such a MORON. I knew the whole thing, dialogue and all. Lordy, that boy can shake 'ya azz. The ebonics were in full force tonight.
Did you pick up any good ones? This afternoon I in all
seriousness told my housemate to "Back that thang up,
bitch!" because I needed to get into the fridge and
she was standing there. InFECTed.
Then the band plays the intro to IGBM. I'm sitting there, waiting for JTF to do his "superduper jump".
What's that? His superduper jump? Does it involve superduper pens in any way?
Oh, good lord. This jump...like, the set has like a higher level, where the band is, and then steps. JC runs out, does a X Games Reject move thing...you know, where they jump and grab the board? Skateboarder on speed, that's my boy. He like, grabs his feet and then lands. It's frightening. Almost as bad as when he backs up and runs to the edge of the stage. Like they think he's gonna throw himself into the crowd or something?! He's fucked up.
They don't come.
And don't come.
And they still don't come. I mean, I know the moment. Because I'm a loser and all. And they're not there on the moment.
And then Juju's voice floats from the heavens. "Yo, Kev, hold up." Music stops. And Justy walks out with the stage director. Turns out there's STUFF falling from the mf ceiling, says Timby. Metal. Day-um. So they take a five minute break and fix it. Weirdness. But he was so cute when he came out and apologized. Dammit. Jerk.
It's Gonna Be Me
JC is on CRACK. And he has this weird fixation for Kevin the band director.
What do you
mean, weird fixation? Maybe
it's like he feels closer to the real musicians, because
they're artists like
him.
Before his "note", he runs back and chills with the band. I really do think he feels closer. Dork. GOD! I hate him!
His high note doesn't sound like he's dying tonight. He does however look like he is. Shit, don't put that on the big screen.
Okay. How skinny is he in real life? Be honest. And did he look five ten, or a lot shorter?
Skinny as SHIT! He looks my height. I think. But still. He could be 5'2".
He still does that run/stop thing. Does he think he's cool? Cause he's NOT. Dude, he looks GOOD in the green tank. Oh wow, was that a close up of his arms on the screen? Okay, so I was all about JC at this point. As punishment for the teenieness, lost voice #1.
I Drive Myself Crazy
Chris says his family is there tonight. Do they realize he will be humping floors later on?
During which song do they do this, again? And I wonder how the choreographer pitched it to them? "So it's five six seven, eight, turn, drop, and hump two three four"
Chris sings. We scream. Hooray. Josh looks bad. Sounds OH so good. I can't look at his closeup on THE BIG SCREEN (I am going to cap this now.). Beaver. Justy doesn't do his little dance, yet I scream anyway. People look at me. Oops. Wow, they sound good. Nice harmony. What am I saying?!? Oh shit, even Lance looks good. Dammit.
I Thought She Knew
HTF is that girl? They dedicate the song to her again. They're not off key tonight. Wow. They can sing. Joey sings. We scream. Poor guys. When does Lance get his screams? Poor girl.
Lance gets his screams when he heads over to the local gay club after the show.
Just Got Paid interlude - Millionare spoof
No one screams for JC when he does his "check myself out, I'm so hot" look into the mirror. I notice a girl behind me is sporting BSB. YES! Dude, this sucks! The question is "Which of these things are not a Pokemon character?" I am insulted. Don't they realize half the audience is horny teens, not young Pokemon freaks? I don't even remember what the choices were, I just screamed "It's Poo-foo!" the whole time.
Just Got Paid
The money vest up close...this is momentous. I snap a
pic of the whole "fro
combing" moment. Mmm, smack that azz, boys! Chris
and Justy do that
"falling into step" immediately thing as they patrol the
stage. Dude,
they're gonna hit it after the show. I LOVE THE
CONFETTI! It's everywhere.
It's so...fun.
The Klub sucks, and JC sounds girly still. *sigh* At least he doesn't do that awful "WHAAT?!" wail. There was some redemption. I realize that WAS Lonnie I passed going to the bathroom. Dude, that motha fucka is BIG. There is some Jen Lopez knockoff in The Klub. The girls are UG-LY tonight. Ew. Jen starts grinding on Lance. He looks happy. There is no money hand out. Bitches.
Lance whispered in her ear "Bitch, I got yo dime, but ya gots ta *work* fo' it, knowwhatimean? Ah'll see yo azz after da show, ho!" and then he gave her his room number. Wait, now Lance sounds like Justin? I'm ill.
JC and Juju have an oldschool dance competition going on. See? It's FUN JC. He breaks out in some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. He's laughing and almost misses his next line.
Wait, wait. Tell me you're not really saying that he was having a spontaneous moment. And he was FUN? And he was *having* fun? I just don't believe it.
Dude, I could only ever date JC when he's performing.
They introduce the band and I know all the "words". FUCK HBO and their MSG tape.
Clown mask shit
Holy fuck. I hate this.
However, lasers good. *kiss kiss* Lancers!
Space Cowboy 
AHAHAHAHA! I refuse to take more then one pic
of the sparkly tank.
ROTFMAO It's the red pants (the "erection pants" as
KD calls them) live
and in person! It's the red pants and their owner
thrusting for all their
worth! DAY-UM. Before the final thrust...oh...he does
this like...lick
thing.
Anyway, ahahaha to the choreography. I do it anyway, because it's so tacky even I could learn it. Really, what was Wade thinking? "Ay Mates...Let's hold our noses and swing our arms around like spazztastic freaks. Fantastic! Britney will be so proud."
Lance looks fat. He should not be in teal. Snakeskin, for that matter. We all scream for the sexual stuff. *sigh*
It Makes Me Ill
Good LAWD. This is better in person, but still cheezy. Joey vamps with the camera and looks really fat.
KD, even you would be appalled.
This I Promise You
JC points out and introduces Gramma Funnelcake! I scream because Gramma Funnelcake and I are in the same building. Chris throws his towel at her. She makes the best orange cookies, says Justy. Chris thinks he's funny and does his best Fat Bastard impression. They do the cheezy moving closer bit, and Chris mentions frolicking. Gayass. Joe attempts to stage dive and Juju says they won't catch him. AHAHAHAAHAHA! He's had 8 of those orange cookies. I want Gramma Funnelcake to be my grandmother.
The stage comes out and everything goes CRAZY. 15 "I'm legal" posters go up. My ears are still ringing. Justin points/smiles/waves every two seconds. Joey hangs by himself (more on this later), and JC throws a water bottle. Girls throw themselves on top of one another to catch it. They also throw towels. Nasty. The girl next to me lets me borrow her binoculars, not like we needed them. SHIT. I did not need to see JC that close up. We're talking pores. It's the fucking shirt. The girl next to me has some funny sign and Chris sees it and points. She freaks. For like...20 minutes. The song sounds good. JC sounds fabulous. Lance sits on the edge of the stage and I fear for his gayass.
You just know some big leather dude is going to make a human pyramid with his buddies and drag him off. Scary.
No one stands near Joey. I think they hate him tonight.
Maybe there were more hot girls on his side.
They "leave". We chant. Okay, I don't. I want digital. I want some humping, and I want it now.
Digital Getdown
Holy fuck. I'm freaking out. I know what's coming. I've got two pics saved. I'm ready. Oh yeah, I'll log on, baby. The glowstick outfits suck, but with the lights out they look great. I LOVE THOSE FUCKING LASERS! Lance, I love you for having lasers!
The crowd is going insane. Okay, I'm going insane. I hate
myself. Lose voice
#2. Justy sluts it up. I hate him. Fucker. I want him.
I also want him
to go away. It's time for some stage humpin'. JC starts
singing. I'm
flipping. Jumping and screaming and...shit. Anyway, I
decide I need a pic
of the hump. Okay, I'd been planning it since we got
the tickets. But I'm
screaming and jumping and trying to see the stupid
thing, I doubt it'll come
out. (It did! Woohoo, humping for posterity!) Day-um, it's one slow ass hump. Ugh. I hate
them. I want them.
JC doesn't do his "It's just me and you" thing anymore. God, he's hot. FUCKER! FUCK HIM! The moving floors come out. Coolness! It's fun. They move on those for awhile. Then, the throw the glowsticks. Fuck, JC does whip those things. No lie, he threw one so far it almost made it up to the upper mezzanine. FUCK.
That pisses me off. If you can sing and dance and are a world-famous Pop Star, you shouldn't also have a good throwing arm.
The girl a row ahead of me catches one from Lance. Cripes. Pandemonium. The song ends. I want them to do it again.
Bye Bye Bye
Fucking monks. I laugh my ass off. JC almost snaps his neck again. He also plays Em and grabs himself for awhile. There is a random crotch shot. I think it was Juju's. Screams abound. Lost voice #3 Pyromania. I think every single person in the damn arena knew the choreography. Dude, they wear those stupid Nike's that look like water. Ew. More pyro. I scream like a maniac. Fuckers. I loved it. I want to do it again.
I'm such a fucking teenie. Fuck.