So there's this guy Everlast, right? And he's big and mean-looking and he wears leather jackets really well, and he has this tattoo on his neck. And a lot of tats everywhere else, but you know. The one on the neck is what gets us.

Allow us to illustrate our position with a visual aid and his own words:

Wish I could touch you in some totally new fashion
Prove to you girl I'm a man
Now I can't guarantee your complete satisfaction
So I'm, do you very best way I can

Sigh. Anyway. Justin? This is how you pull off Sexay White Hip-Hop Guy. Hope you're taking notes. JC? This is how you write sexy lyrics. Hope you're taking notes, too.

Durst combines the appeal of forbidden trailer park love with a certain aura of tortured intelligence.

Plus, he's cute.

Don't let him hear you saying that, though, or he might call you up and leave scaryass messages on your machine.

"Teach me how to respect women."

Oh, but we will.

He's so masculine we almost can't stand it.

Russell on his shoulder surgery:
4 incisions, 6 stitches, pommy bloke assists (bad sign, chronic ball droppers as a nation but apparently plays a good game). Supposed to be local anasthetic but nerve block is supplemented by happy pill with amnesiatic effects, however vivid memory of shaving of armpit, request by four hospital staff to strip naked and put on paper pants - impolitely declined - basis of argument, 'it's my fucking shoulder' ,head restraint, pure white spittle, surgeon sweating while hammering plugs like James Woods in a minor role.

We think we're in love. Russell? If we were married, you could steal us from our husbands anytime.

He's the poster boy for Skinny. He makes it look good. Same goes for smoking, unfortunately.

You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable

Irony! Learn it, love it, embrace it.

Clever, semi-articulate bad boys. Nice.

He used to be in an embarrassing boy band, but he got out before it was too late. Justin and JC, five years from now? Will not be this cool. They wish.

Most Americans don't get Rob. He's not full of himself, dude, he's ironic. It's a concept many of us find difficult to grasp, apparently.

I'm an honorary Sean Connery, born '74
There's only one of me
Single-handedly raising the economy
Ain't no chance of the record company dropping me
Press be asking do I care for sodomy
I don't know, yeah, probably

You go, Bob. Live the dream.

"If I have offended you, I don't care. Because I am fabulously wealthy."