If Loving You Is Wrong, Then, Well, I Guess We're Wrong


TONY SOPRANO

Um. Anyway. Moving on.

YES OKAY YOU FUCKERS. We think he's hot. It's possibly the danger thing. I mean, yeah, Tony, he'd totally shove you up against the wall. And you'd damn well like it.







DR. DRE

Right. Sorry. There's this moment in Snoop Dogg's self-titled video when Dre is on the couch with the hot bitches, and he leans forward and goes "Snoooop Dogg" and. Um. Anyway.

We would never tell him about this, though. Because he'd probably kick our asses.



DENIS LEARY

Angry. Swearing. Smoking. Hilarious. We want to be like him. Except the smoking part. And all the drugs. Yeah. That'd be cool.

I am the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley! It's me!






HENRY ROLLINS

He's big. He's bad. His music scares the shit out of us. On the other hand, his comedy is hilarious. So you wouldn't know whether to be infatuated, terrified, or on the floor with laughter. For some reason, the terrible cognitive dissonance this creates makes him very, very appealing. But, again, don't tell him. Because he'd come over to our house and put the smack down.







DAVID LETTERMAN

I'm so sorry. I don't know what my problem is. But he's so... bitchy. And sarcastic. And just plain mean to half his guests. And, and... I know. I'm weird.

Sorry. Do I at least get points for being unafraid to admit that I'm a loser when I comes to men? Whaddya mean, no? Fine! I bet you think Justin's hot. Justin, is, like, twelve, okay. At least Dave can buy you a drink.

No. You're right. I'm a loser. Sigh.












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