Am amused to note that Britney Spears has her own section and NSYNC does not. Flip through "N" section. Come across 98 Degrees album.
Move on. Go back. Am hysterically amused by literal-minded store clerk. Ninety-Eight Degrees. Goes in the Ns.
14:00
Decide that writing papers is for fools. Immediately close Word and begin roaming the Net.
14:15
Housemates show up just as I'm looking at pic of Joey with blond hair. Quickly minimize window. Housemate T. catches glimpse of screen as I guiltily click-click-click CLOSE YOU FUCKER.
T: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Nothing."
T: "Hold up. Are you looking at a picture of Joey from NSYNC?"
Me: "No. Here, have a cookie."
After successfully distracting housemates from my secret shame, gently tried to discover what exactly they were doing in my room.
Me: "So are you just here to annoy me or what?"
J: "We're bored."
T: "Yes, we are."
Me: "Okay."
J: "Want to rent a movie?"
Me: "Okay."
15:50
Housemates finally move out of room to bother someone else. I return to roaming Net and reading random JC/Lance/Joey slash. Decide I need help. Also realize I'm snackish. Realize I have nothing snackworthy. Fuck. Try to convince housemates to go get movies now as opposed to tonight as video store is well-stocked with snacks of all kinds. Housemates are divided on this. One is all for it, other has to place call to hot French boy at Notre Dame at four and somehow thinks that's more important.
16:11
Check to see if housemate is done yet.
16:28
Still on the phone.
16: 43
Still on the fucking phone. Almost faint with hunger. Am hallucinating Doritos.
17:40
Housemate finally off phone. Set off for video store.
17: 46
Arrive at video store. Once again fail to convince friends to rent Mystery Men. Rapidly decide on Office Space. Then must pick second movie.
18:13
Still looking.
18:22
Have rejected almost every movie in the damn store.
18:39
Finally spot a movie with Mark Wahlberg and explosions. Never heard of it, but decide it will be okay. Get movie. Get snacks. Go home.
19:38
Done eating dinner. Wonder if over-consumption of pasta can lead to scurvy? Start video.
19:54
Idiot housemate has somehow broken VCR.
21:13
VCR still broken.
21:35
Still broken. Have resorted to watching MTV. Wu-Tang Clan comes on. Defend filmic genius of "Gravel Pit" video to scoffing housemates. Am once again smitten by the coolness that is the Clan, especially at the end when they say "Wu-Tang worldwide! Guaranteed, son." Endure mocking comments as I wonder aloud if I can join the Clan, or, failing that, become Meth's bitch.
21:52
Still watching MTV. Am caught up in Enrique vs. Ricky debate.
22:11
Figure out that VCR was not in fact broken. Begin watching Office Space.
22:33
Decide that Office Space is quite possibly the funniest movie ever.
23:44
Move on to second movie. Put The Corruptor in.
23:58
Begin to comment aloud on Chow Yun Fat's poor English and acting.
00:15
Silently decide that even Mark Wahlberg's sweating and tattooed and bare torso cannot save this movie.
00:16
Share this realization with housemates. They agree.
00:50
The Corruptor is removed from the VCR and set aside as a lost cause.
1:14
Compulsively check email again for the twentieth time today.
1:23
Go to bed.
Monday November 27th
8:29
Wake up. Fuck. Too early. Don't want to get up.
8:30
Get up.
8:31
Go back to bed.
10:30
Get out of bed.
10:41
Put in Tae Bo tape.
11:35
Done Tae Bo-ing. Do crunches. Realize I have no muscle tone. Fuck. Fuck.
11:40
Take shower.
11:56
Meet housemate in hall.
Her: "Dude, did you just wake up?"
Me: "No! I was awake at eight-thirty and I've already worked out!"
Her: "Whatever."
12:15
Decide to do nothing all day because I've worked out.
12:37
Remember all the things I have to do today. Figure out what can be safely put off for a day or two.
13:25
Annoying Finnish guy with crush on me shows up. Get rid of him. Decide that it's time to blowdry hair.
13:34
Hair is dry. Stare at mirror in horror. The fro is out of CONTROL.
Pick up "Straightening Fluid" that doesn't actually work, decide it's too much work. Put it back down. Realize that if Justin can deal with it, I can too. Discard bandana, decide that today will be sporting "I meant my hair to look like this" look.
14:10
Back on couch. Luxuriate in doing nothing.
14:23
Bored people drop in. Party in my room. Fuckers. Means I have to get dressed.
15:53
People gone. Can finally get down to some serious lounging.
16:00
Fuck. Remember must take videos back to store. Wonder why the fuck that is always my job. Fuckers.
16:13
At video store. Video store is in mall. Check out mall since I'm there.
16:22
Pass record store. Notice DVD display. "Buy 20 DVD's, get player for free!" Am actually tempted. Stare at display for thirty seconds. Go into store. Roam aisles aimlessly. Find self in rap section. Check under W for the Clan.
16:24
The W is backordered. Pick up 36 Chambers. Put it back down. Tell self sternly that just because the CD I want isn't there, it's not acceptable to buy some random other album.
16:25
Walk away from Wu-Tang section. Stare at a Tupac t-shirt.
16:26
Back in Wu-Tang section. Decide that 36 Chambers is too cheap to pass up. It would practically be more expensive not to buy it!
16:27
Buy 36 Chambers. Clerk asks me if it's a gift. Proudly say no. Clerk gives me weird look. Leave store with bounce in step due to Shopper's High.
16:28
Pass Backstreet display. In process of averting eyes to appear disinterested, accidentally look at Christmas music rack. Spot Mariah Carey album. Pick it up. Put it back down. Pick up Country Christmas. Wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
16:30
Am deeply involved in trying to find the NSYNC Christmas album. Can't find it. Head back to the Pop section to see if it's there.
16:31
Am amused to note that Britney Spears has her own
section and NSYNC does not. Flip through "N" section.
Come across 98 Degrees album.
Move on. Go back. Am hysterically amused by literal-minded store clerk. Ninety-Eight Degrees. Goes in the Ns.
Only NSYNC album is the first one. Almost touch it but am too scared by JC's Caeser hair and the airbrushed teeth. Go back to 98's Revelation instead. Look at cover. Realize that Jeff is beautiful. Start looking at inlay. See the four solid pages of dedications. Mock them. Then start reading notes. Read Nick's first. Jessica is his everything? Think may throw up. Also want to point out to Nick that at nineteen you have no concept of forever and are not ready to promise your life to someone.
(Note to self: must stop projecting one's own emotional immaturity onto others.)
Read the other guys'. Read Jeff's. Wait, wait. Who exactly is this Alyssa person? Does Jeff have a kid? And is Jeff Catholic? Why is he thanking St. Jude?
Realize that Jeff is obviously religiously confused, like me, and needs my support. Begin inching towards register with Revelation. Suddenly feel hand descending onto shoulder. Hand belongs to vague friend. Vague cool male friend. Casually toss Revelation into nearby bin and show him 36 Chambers, accept his felicitations on my good taste, laugh lightly when he points to BSB display and wonders who the hell buys shit like that. Go home, still shaking from my close call.
God. I almost bought a 98 Degrees album. I know that's just one step away from buying Home for Christmas. I know it. Fuckers. I hate them all.