Thanks to those who entered, thanks to the finalists, thanks to our winner, Claire T, and definitely thanks to JC, without his dope beats and phat lyrics, none of this would be possible.
First off, our winner.
Ooh, baby, your body's as smooth as lip balm
You've got me weak like puddy in your palm
My feelings for you are soft but 'hard'
It was destiny when you slipped me your card
I was up all night, just thinking 'bout you, babe
Then after some freaky fun, you just got paid
Baby girl, my love for you is to true,
But when I don't call again, girl don't be blue
And now, a note from JC himself:
My newest song, Smooth As Lip Balm, is a true
representation of my current relationship. Contrary to
popular belief, the song is not about myself with a
prostitute. Nor is it about sex. Sex is evil, unless of
course, it is used to sell t-shirts and calanders. This
song is about meeting a lovely lady, she hands me a
greeting card, we fall in love, we go to a carnival, and
she wins prize money. It is not a prostitue handing
me a business card, making me horny as hell, having a
night of wild sex, and then she gets paid for her
services. It is nothing like that. It's about a trip to
the carnival, damnit.
Love,
Joshua
I'm sending my lyrics in to salute the brilliance that is JC's songwriting. "Your eyes aare red because you cried" is sheer poetry, I can only aspire to have such greatness. Artistic integrity and ten-line maximums usually dissuade me from entering such contests, but in honor of this astounding lyricist, I'll forego my misgivings and enter. Here is my ten-lined song entitled "Hot Buttered Popcorn". It is based on my memories of my first boyfriend and how his unnatural love for popcorn tore us apart. He would never share. One night at the drive-in, we...well, read the lyrics, they'll explain. This was a very painful and personal part of my life and is hard to speak of, but there is no art without pain, right? Here is the song, written with a little help from my friends.
All alone in the dark
found a place to park
It's just you and me, baby
Reach out my hand to touch
I want it so much
wondering, would you let me, maybe?
Oh, I just can't resist
your smell, your beautiful form
If you'd just let me have the taste I've missed
Hot buttered popcorn
The bastard. If he would only have shared. No...REALLY...it's about popcorn, I swear! I hope you enjoyed this little song, I do this to entertain. I also must say to Lief Garret-member of the professional jury-your Behind The Music was so very touching. I cried tears, man. Great big tears. Thank you all for your time. I'm glad I could do some small part to honor the lyrics of JC.
So yeah, had my heart broken last night and I thought today, what better way to speed the healing then write a dumb ass song in the style of the dorkmaster himself...
When I look at you, girl, my dreams unfurl
Oh oh girl, I don't know what I'd without you in my
world.
You make me want to travel the globe and spread my
pleasure
And show everyone you're such a treasure
Chorus
Because of you girl, I've become a missionary man
I want to tell the universe and take a stand
That you are chillin', that you rock my whole world
So I've become, a missionary man… Oh girl!
The following song is a glimpse into the tortured soul of a guy who is really misunderstood. He's a recreational drug user, and you know - that's the safest kind. Only, dude, his girlfriend doesn't understand and she kind of makes life hard for him. Yeah, it can totally be a ballad but it's good for the clubs, too.
You know my heart's on the line
(baby...ooo...baby)
Oh, you know you are lookin' so fine
(oh...sugar...so fine)
And there's nothin' I wouldn't do to take you home
But, baby, oh girl, you gotta let me stop and see
Jerome
You've told me you've never had better sex
(ohhhh....yeah)
And still baby girl you won't let me do ya on X
And Baby...oh...pretty baby you know you got what I need
(you got it...you got it)
but, baby, oh honey...please tell me where you hid my
weed.
(tell me, girl, tell me)
The sweats and the shakes...girl, that was just the
flu
(oooo...baby)
Girl, when will you understand that I'm only a fiend
for you?
alright- so i read somewhere that one of the songs for the new album is going to be called Fork in the Road, and this is what i came up with.
We've come to the fork in the road
Girly mama it's like whoa
I wanna take you far away
Where we can roll in the hay
Your legs are red because you shaved
Remember last night when you behaved
Naughty on my computer screen
sugar honey make me scream
Even though I have teeth like a beaver
I love my baby girl, I'll never leave her
She loves me too, our love is like a blossom
If anyone hurts her, I'll have to toss 'em
out the door