We cut back to the piano bench shots. Chris talks about fans and how they come up and say "wow, you're great, you're awesome, can I have an autograph?" He makes a mistake, by saying fanS. I think he meant to say fan.
Lance, in his piano interview, says they're doing this music for the fans. Well christ, I hope so. I really don't want to think that you all sit around and listened to your own shit for the hell of it. After he finishes the camera stays on him for a few seconds. Eeek. I look away.
They all bop past the camera at Macy's, and Joey has an actual SUNFLOWER that someone gave him? I think people giving guys flowers is weird to begin with. But a sunflower? Weirdass. JC keeps raising the roof like a maniac. Jesus. No wonder it went out of vogue. He ruined it, the loser. Justin just looks like he wants to leave. It looks like he pushes JC forward as they're on their way out, since he's still slapping people's hands like a freak. Jesus. It's almost sad, to see him now from the way he was back then.
Piano!JC looks blankly into the camera. "It's not exactly Beatlemania, but...it's pretty cool" It's all said in this weird, Michael Jackson voice. Or it's cute. I don't know. I can't decide.
"De plane! De plane!"
OH! I GET IT! They're TRAVELING. So they're playing HERE WE GO!
Oh goodness. They're too clever for me.
A limo drives past the camera, stretching for like...miles. At the end is Chris, hanging out the window. Lonnie was probably going crazy. "Kirkpatrick! Get yer ass in here before someone tries to yank you out of the car and hold you for ransom!" But they probably nominated Chris to hang out the window, just because kidnappers would get the least amount of money from him. I wonder if they have a harem in that huge limo. Or if they've packed like 10 million circus clowns in there and they'll all pile out in a few minutes and impress us, the viewing audience.
Oh. No. We see the inside of the limo. They all yell "HEY!" Oh god. This looks like a bad Chinese vacation video, where they tape everything including when they go to eat? Maybe that's rude. But if you live anywhere near a theme park or tourist attraction, you know what I mean. And the video quality is really crappy anyway. I can just picture Mizz Harless yelling "Say hi kids!"
We pan out to the skyline of Hotlanta, where you can hear the screams echoing out across the city.
The screaming fans appear. And then Joe appears behind a white wall, running along with a member of Sexual Chocolate. A girl cries. Justin runs out, crouched down so far he's almost on all fours. Oh PLEASE. You're not that tall, shortasses. Even you, fro freak.
They're all wearing black jumpsuits. Oh GOD. This is the Sisqo dragon-wear stuff.
I realize this is before actual stadium tours and their following is still this big? This must have been when IWYB must have first come out. Yeah right. They paid these chicks.
Crouching!Chris admonishes the camera. "Tell them to be quiet! SHHHHH!" JC crouches nearby. Oh. Fuck that. They won't be seeing your ass either. 5'10". Hah. He looks scared. I imagine them all wearing ear pieces. "Yeah, copy. 10-4. Roger that, Lonnie."
The crowd is huge, rowdy, wearing minimal clothing, and hormone driven.
NSYNC mounts the stage.
The screams increase tenfold.
JC runs up onto the stage and prances and waves his arms like a freak. What else is new?
They start lip synching to Tearin' Up My Heart. Oh. Great. It's just like I Want Yout Back. Fun. The camera captures Justin looking off to the side. "JC? JC? Where are you, my wonderful hunk of support?"
Cut to the Fubu gear. Oh, this is more tolerable. They don't look like Johnny Cash anymore.
ACT OUT ALERT!
Justin holds up two fingers for "I feel it too." Um. Yes. Clever.
There's a Chinese vacation crowd shot. Was Steve doing some double duty for this video too? He's not just a brother. He's a member of the NSYNC team, people. Hard working is his middle name. Right after groupie stud.
Back to Sisqo and bad dancing.
Fubu and bad dancing.
Nike and bad dancing.
Fubu.
Nike.
Fubu.
JC is wearing white batting gloves with his Fubu gear, and Justin has on a Nike wristbands. Can they mix gear like this? They're so Michael Jackson.
More bad dancing as we flip between Fubu and Nike.
Fans raise the roof like crazy. Yeah. I'm real sad to see that trend go away. No wonder JC includes it in "Bringin' Da Noise." He saw it so god damn fucking much touring around.
JC does his spazztastic one-armed backflip. While...holding his mic? Mucho, mucho impressive.
Chris does one too. Whatever.
KD, you'll be happy to know they cut away from your favorite line move. Because i bet it would have just been painful back then.
Sisqo. Fubu. Sisqo. Fubu. Sisqo. Fubu. Crowd. Fubu. Crowd.
During this crowd shot, we see some teenager actually being HOISTED out of the crowd by cops. Holy SHIT! I thought this only happened at cool shows. Like Limp. "How'd you get your concussion? Uh, I was moshing. To...Tearin' Up My Heart."
Fubu. Sisqo. Crowd. Fubu. Sisqo. Nike. Fubu. Sisqo. Crowd. Sisqo. Fubu. Nike. Sisqo.
JC gets SO into the breakdown. He looks retarded. He's the only one. Moron.
I really think Steve definitely shot the Sisqo footage. Crappy, dude. CRAP-PY.
Nike. Fubu. Sisqo. Nike. Crowd. Fubu.
JC is SO into it. I'm getting horribly embarassed. Lance's head grab for "Feel the pain" is just fall down funny. I have to pause it for a few minutes just to laugh. I only rewind twice.
Fubu. Sisqo. Fubu. Crowd.
It's over.
Whew.
Hey! Hobbies!
We see Justin and Chris playing basketball. Big surprise. How is this even a fair matchup? Justin shoots. Sinks it as Giddy Up plays in the background. Wow. Nice hobby song there.
Do we really need this section? We already know their hobbies verbatim. I mean, some of us do. Sort of.
Fuck. They're shoved down our throats enough. We should know this shit.
Lance spins around on a Ski-Doo. It could almost be hot, in a really X-Games sort of way. But it's Lesbian!Lance in a wet suit.
There's some high action slo-mo drama of them all playing foosball. Wowee. This is just...compelling. JC scores and slaps Joey an entheusiastic five. He's wearing a...CHAIN WALLET! AHAHA! Skater freak. I bet he idolized Tony Hawk back then. Which isn't cool. Because I heart Tony. You stay away from him, you boyband freak!
Chris' hobbies are turntables and records. Well, FUCK! You told us this already, morons! Hellooo, earth calling Grandmaster CK? Your hobbies are not crazy. Maybe if you mentioned you liked to skydive naked, it'd be crazy. Vinyl records, alas, are not.
Cut to Chris in a batting cage, sending balls flying with every swing. AHAHHA. Oops. That's not really funny. But he's swinging with vigor. Aggression much?
Lance plays some retarded video game that looks like...what was that game, where you had to press the colors in order and they all lit up and made noise? Simon?
Where is he? Chuck E. Cheese?
Lance likes to travel. He went down to Cancun last summer. Wow. Thanks Lance. I'm glad I know that now. Lance enjoys gay romps in tropical places. They show him and Joe stripping down for whatever video they're in, where they're on the jetski's. (I don't know people! The first full NSYNC video I saw was Bye Bye Bye. Just work with me here. KD says it's I Want You Back.)
Yeah, hi, it's me. I'd just like to point out that the only reason I know that is because there was this NSYNC Weekend on MTV Europe and this video played. And, like, the only reason I remember the jetskis is because I'd never seen this video before. We get the old school Space Station video for IWYB. So I just happened to remember, because I sat up and laughed at JC's gigantic nose, and them playing pool and whatnot. That's it. Honest. I swear to fucking God it's not because I sit around and rewind to catch a glimpse of Ellen!Lance in his wetsuit.
No. Really. Shit. That came out all wrong. I swear I don't! But, anyway. That's the only reason I remembered. Because I laughed at Lance pretending to be all butch and cool and shit.
Fuck. I bet you're not convinced. You know what? Screw you. I only noticed NSYNC in late 2000, and it was, indirectly, WD's fault. Let's lay blame at the right doorstep here.
Joey mentions clubbing. Fuck. No wonder why you're stereotyped, dude. Joe and Justin play pool. Justin's wearing one of those rag things, you know, like Mystical wears? But his is tan and he has his sunglasses perched on top. Wow. Whiteboyz indeed.
Justin's still goofing around while playing pool, leaning his chin on Chris' shoulder as he eyes up his shot. Wow. Slashiness abounds! On a sidenote, Chris has on THE goggles. Nice.
JC's up next. I'm immediately on the defensive. Piano!JC declares loudly, "What do I like to do besides dance and sing? I like to sleep!"
That's it. I turn it off. No more for today.
No more.
Take me away to part four
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