Q: Listen, Oracle, is Joey infected?
A: Yes.
Q: And does he have more than three kids?
A: Yes.
Q: Ouch. Those payments are gonna hurt. Moving on, is JC an idiot?
A: Yes.
Q: Okay. That begs the question, does he know how bad his pants are?
A: No.
Q: Now I feel bad for him. How about the Infant?
Will Justin record a hiphop album?
A: Yes.
Q: Doesn't surprise me. Will it flop miserably?
A: No.
Q: Now that does surprise me. Let's talk about Chris now.
Is he as cool as we think he is?
A: Yes.
Q: Thank goodness. So,
will Fuman Skeeto become the industry standard for all cool people?
A: Yes.
Q: I'm happy for him. Won't wear his clothes, but still, happy.
Our last NSYNCer is Lance.
Will Flamer Spice come out of the closet soon?
A: No.
Q: But he's gay, though, right?
A: Yes.
Q: Just checking. What about him and JC? Are they together?
A: Yes.
Q: We knew it. Is it serious? Are they going to get married?
A: Yes.
Q: Wow! The Christian Coalition is going to have an aneurysm.
Moving on, will NSYNC break up in less than one year?
A: Yes.
Q: Oh dear. Will they break up in less than six months?
A: Yes.
Q: Will they break up in less than three months?
A: Yes.
Q: Less than two months?
A: No.
Q: Phew. Will their breakup have anything to do with Lance and JC's love?
A: No.
Q: Really? Huh. Will they break up because Joey wins an Oscar?
A: Yes.
Well, you heard it here first, folks.
Then, to amuse ourselves further, we had The Oracle lay the cards for us. The question? Again, we wanted to know if they were going to break up inside a year. The answer? Two words: Yoko Ono.
The Oracle says:
What do you learn from the first card, that which represents the past?
EIGHT OF SWORDS: INTERFERENCE --Ill-dignified: There is opposition, struggle
and anxiety, but there is progress towards release from the situation. May
indicate unforeseen catastrophe and unexpected events.
TransCon, much?
What do you learn from the second card, that which represents the present?
The Devil --This card may indicate that there is far too much emphasis on
the material world and physical pleasures. Shows a lust for money and power.
Implies that the Inquirer may be living in fear, domination and bondage.
Discretion should be used in personal and business matters. Additionally,
the Devil indicates destructive forces, violence and evil influences.
Dude- I knew their merchandise would bring them down. That and JC's habit.
What do you learn from the third card, that which represents the future?
QUEEN OF PENTACLES --Represents the watery part of Earth. A woman ambitious
in useful directions, affectionate and kind, charming, timid, practical,
quiet and domesticated. Indicates generosity, security, liberty and wealth.
I wonder who their Yoko will be? Well, we'll know in three months.
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