I kept muttering "Where the hell are they?" during the whole first hour. My mom was appalled. "I can't believe my daughter is doing this. 'Oh, NSYNC! I love NSYNC!' What is wrong with you?"
Whatever. I never said any of that. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I only watched it to MAKE FUN OF THEM
Sure I did.
Two fucking hours and one missed episode of the Soprano's for ONE god damn time of them singing a abbreviated version of "Merry Christmas Happy Holidays."
Michael Eisner? Watch out. Because I'm coming for your ass. Next time I'm at Disney World? You just watch out.
After what seems like hours of uninspired repartee between Colin, Ryan, and Wayne, who are hunting for Santa in some bad version of every single one of those cheesy ass Christmas Speicals you remember as a child, we finally go to Epcot, where NSYNC is performing. I'm having a bet with myself, to see what song they'll sing.
The familiar notes hit me, and I'm about to be graced with some MCHH. Yay! I'm excited. I take in their outfits. Joey's red hair. Reuben's long Guido the pimp curls. When WAS this filmed? Here's the picture of them below in their retarded outfits. March? Last year? When did they put the 2000 on the Epcot Ball?
We start off with Justin. Who asks us if we're having a good time. No. Cut to a random crowd shot, which apparantly is gold to whoever was shooting this. Really, who wants to see teenies go crazy? Not I. I just wanna see what they're wearing. Someone has a huge picture of JC they're waving around. I wonder if he was scared when he saw it. But then...I get to see them. Which brings us to...
WD's patented Outfit Review. (Although...I don't really know that to say about this. They threw me for a loop here. Check out the pic for what I mean.)
First, we see...
Justin, wearing a maroonish button down shirt with gray underneath. He's got the sleeves rolled up a bit, but I can forgive him. He's wearing the jTr necklace, which I used to hate. USED to. Damn you, KD!
Survey says? Goodsync.
Then, there's...
JC, wearing...oh, for god's sake. This is the special Matching/Color-Coded System (TM), isn't it, where they all wear the opposite of each other? JC's in a gray button down shirt with red underneath. I'm horrified to see that the red shirt is long-sleeved while the gray is short-sleeved. Wrong, wrong, wrong. He just needs a pocket protector.
Survey says? Horrible, horrible Badsync. But this isn't anything new.
Next up...
Lance. Now here's where I get tripped up. Lance is keeping within the gray family. But he's wearing one of JC's light/openweave gray sweaters with a black wifebeater underneath. What the...this is not Matching Outfit System (TM), people! I'm perplexed. But still...Once again, Lance manages to look good. Confusion aside, he looks good. And...what is WRONG with me? Again, the necklace doesn't bother me.
Survey says? Goodsync.
And the confusion continues with...
Chris. Chris makes no sense. He's in a orangey colored shirt and tech-vest. Don't get me wrong. He looks hot. But...this is just all wrong. Wrong, I tell you. Still...
Survey says? Goodsync.
Finally, we arrive at...
Joey, who has suddenly flashed us to the Matching/Sort-of Special Color Coded System(Patent Pending) territory. He's in a long-sleeved red shirt and this odd, odd, hospital scrub looking green shirt. Ay. I just don't get it. Not at all.
Survey says? Badsync.
Still, this is a good record. Have we ever had three goodsync's? But I really wonder what was going on with the outfit choices here. Perhaps this was when JC and Justin were together, so they decided to dress alike, and thought the others would follow suit. But they didn't, except for Joey, who then got pissed when Chris and Lance showed up in different outfits. But they were about to go on and he only had time to toss on the green thing.
They sing. Justin riffs a bit in the beginning. Then it's all JC. Whatever. Nothing interesting. Why does someone (Joey and Justin in this instance) always have to crowd around the camera and make a face, point out to the audience, then move so the camera can pan out into the crowd? It's annoying. But it's kinda cool. Or at least it was the first time I saw it.
Everyone else goes off take refuge with the band when JC takes a stranglehold on the mic. Not that I blame them. Lance looks absurd with the keyboardist. I wonder if he got annoyed and wanted him to go away. Chris chills with Dave. Reuben moves like he's in the "Simply Irresistible" video. It's still all about JC at this point.
I wonder how Justin and JC divided up the parts when they wrote this song. Or if they had to be forced to sing certain parts and then afterwards had a huge brawl because Justin wanted to sing about "the snow glistening on the trees outside."
It's still the JC show. I feel bad for the others. Even Justy is a glorified back-up singer now.
Aha! They all reappear from their hiding places for the chorus. Nice to see you, boys. I was starting to think that your group was just called "C". Justin does some odd footwork as he scampers to the edge of the stage. He's just excited he can hear people scream his name again, instead of JC's.
They get their paybacks, however, when the camera catches JC grooving like a moron. God, he's just...lame. Lance randomly plays to the camera. Wait. Lance, playing to a camera? You hardly ever see that.
Is it just me, or is it all just backing track and JC? Destiny's Child, anyone? I want to hit him. Plus, he's still dancing. Stop it.
JC and Justin exchange a look before he sings "No matter what your holiday..." It's so...*Ntimate Holiday Special. Sometimes they make you wonder...that coupled with the outfits, tonight just may be their coming out night.
Lance plays to the camera again. What are you doing, boy? But I did say it, he's a lot more charismatic than Chris and Joey.
If I have to hear Justin's Ebonics one more time when he orders the crowd to clap their hands, I'm gonna scream. They get to the breakdown and...what? NO! JC wouldn't be making himself the center of attention again, would he? But yes, he does. While the back-up singers are in a tight bunch, he's off in his own little "sing out" world. Nice Josh. I love to see the face. Love it.
God. We finally reach the end. But not before JC can riff his head off while the rest have already got their mic's down at their side. Payback for Justin's note in GMHS? Perhaps.
They wish us a happy holiday. But I know what they really mean. "Spend more money on NSYNC crap that you don't need, bitches!" Fuck them. Because I know...I probably will.