My feelings about the whole evening? Shocked and appalled. Girls? Wear more clothing. Thongs belong on the inside of your pants. If you're chunky, don't wear red vinyl, you'll look like a ham. Guys? Dress up a bit more. If you're NSYNC, don't go see Vinnie the Pimp to dress you.

I told you about my shirt with the tiger on it, right? Well, I just realized that it's almost the same as JC's manly cat sweater. That guy needs to stop shopping in the women's section. I mean, dude, we know you're skinny. We understand that you can wear women's clothing if you want. Let it go.

My thoughts on the guys? JC, Vinnie wants that coat back today. PETA has also been calling. Joey, we all know you get about as many groupies as Gene Simmons does, but you don't have to wear the KISS t-shirt to let us know that. Lance, that better have been a friend or sister, because DAMN, I was not feeling her style. Chris, if you were wearing something off Fu-Man Skeeto's fall line, well...I'm not buying it. Justin, you are a microphone hogger, and the moonman dance was an embarassment to society. No wonder Eminem hates you.

I have this hysterical picture I need to add here.

How funny is that? I absolutely love it. Eminem spends his life bitching about Justin and Kevin, and they end up on a shirt together. I'm sensing some sort of cosmic payback here.

Did everyone notice when they won Best Pop how everyone jumped in front of JC everytime he tried to talk, until all he was left with to say was that horrid Forrest Gump line? His statement every time he opened his mouth, then had to close it again, was priceless, and my friend Christy, who's not a fan, was like "He hates them all now. That's it, they're breaking up." I hope they all smacked JC as soon as they got backstage for his stupidness. JC probably beat them, actually, when they got backstage, as shown by his immediate jump onto the microphone after they won Viewer's Choice. Pet my moonman. Stroke him. Love him!

Seeing Justin and Brit next to each other was definitely interesting. Wonder if it was MTV causing controversey, them really making it official, or just them being friendly dates? Whatever, it was interesting, and when I first saw them next to each other, after one of the horrible Wayans brothers showed his ass, I screamed. Brit needs to not take lessons from Arsenio Hall. Did you see her when Kid Rock said "Whatever, that commerical that NSYNC did with McDonald's was WAY cooler then the one Backstreet did with Burger King"? (The best moment of the show for me) Totally back in the Dog Pound days. And Mama Crunkness, tame your hair. Please.

As for Britney and Christina, I have nothing to say. I spent Britney's entire performance screaming "YOU'RE KIDDING ME! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!", the other half with my hands over my mouth in shock. I also commented that Justin probably asked Brit to wear the outfit that night. "Baby, will you wear that bikini for me? Will ya?"

Aside from the fact that she was lipsynching, and lipsynching badly, I kind of liked it. For me, awards shows are all about laughing at people anyway. And she was definitely up to par. I wonder where you buy a suit like that? The kind that just falls off? Now that would get you some attention at a job interview.

Christina's was more laughable - how 'bout that backward roll? She was most definitely sick, and I felt a bit bad for her. But girlfriend, if you EVER sing along with Fred Durst again, I will come up there and rip out your Rainbow Brite hair. I bet all the Limp Bizkit guys were making fun of Fred all night. Fred, you know I love you honey, but I hope MTV reimbursed you well.

Okay, not to, you know, get serious or anything, but I have this thing about Carson and the Eminem/Christina situation. Carson the Fruit is buddy-buddy with Fred and Marshall. Marshall the sweaty-toothed madman mentions Christina giving oral satisfaction to Fred and Carson. This pisses Christina off. Carson is on Letterman. Dave wants to know what Carson thinks of the song. Carson waffles, then says that it's cool that he's mentioned in an Eminem song. That's it. He doesn't say 'Yeah, it's cool, but, you know, I kind of feel bad for Christina'. Or something. I almost explode. As I see it, you have two choices, Daly. Either you're the kind of guy who dislikes psychotic rappers using your name to trash random women, or you're the kind of guy who likes it. I don't really care which side you come down on. I just want you to get off the fucking fence.

Whoa, got a little uptight there! Sorry.

Anyway, back to Christina and Marshall. After he trashed her, she said something like "I don't know what I said to piss him off, but I'd say it again". That girl kicks ASS.

On the subject for Fred, he's oddly charismatic and shit, but dude! Have you ever listened to "No Sex"? Very thinly veiled misogyny there.