Artist: NSYNC
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I'll skip over all the normal stuff that you already own in some legal or not so legal form.
And here's what we get, people. I'll do a little rundown on each song for ya.
That Thing You Do
It's bootleg. It's live. It's JC singing all by his lonesome with a little backup from the other boys on the harmony bits. It's twenty thousand screaming girls. JC sounds v. Buddy Holly. It's astonishing. He could so have made it as a pop singer in the late fifties. He's in pretty good voice.
WD told me that they GASP actually play the instruments during this song.
...
I am grudgingly impressed. Those fuckers. Dammit. Now I have to admit that they don't suck. Okay. They don't suck. All the time.
To Nap or not to Nap: Nap on, my sister.
Real Talk (MMC feat. Members from NSYNC)
It's tres late eighties. Think Jody Watley remixed by C&C Music Factory. Some chick sings first. Chorus: Gotta talk the real talk, gotta let the lovin' show. Wow. It could, like, be an NSYNC song, based on the lyrical strength alone. Okay. Waiting for Justin or JC to start singing.
Still waiting.
Um. I think maybe all they get to do is echo "Gotta get up, gotta get a real deal".
Oh. Here's a guy. He's "rapping". It doesn't sound like Justin or JC. The chick starts singing again. That's it. Couldn't spot the members of NSYNC, but maybe that's just me.
To Nap or not to Nap: don't bother. Not even if you're a crazed fan.
Star Spangled Banner
It's acapella. I love acapella!NSYNC. JC is slightly nasal, but still in decent voice. You can almost pick out Lance. Oh! There he was! "That our flag was still theeeeere". Didya catch that vibration that set your coffee mug a-tremblin'? That was him. They close with a spine-tingling lil chord on "Land of the freeeee". I've got goosebumps. How can people boo this shit? Are you deaf, you fuckers?
To Nap or not to Nap:: it's good. Nap with alacrity.
If I'm Not The One
Okay, so this isn't really obscure, but still. Play Riddle at half-speed and you'll get this. JC sounds very young. Oh, wait. That's Justin. But he sings "I keep writing letters to my garbage can", and that's funny, so. He also sings "Laaaady! Come and lay down beside me!" Justin, you probably weren't legal to lay down beside. Please. You little temptress. Gee. No wonder if was cut from NSA. Good call there, boys.
To Nap or not to Nap: I'm deleting it, but whatever.
If Only through Heaven's Eyes with Babyface
It's slow. I hate slow. Justin sounds good, though. I have to admit that. Waiting for Babyface. Oh. Wow. Nice harmonies in the chorus there, fellas. Okay. They can sing. I hate it when they do that. It's so hard to mock. Hey! I could pick out Lance! He must have been sleeping with the producers. JC starts to sing. He's… okay. He's crooning. I don't like it when he croons. He sounds so serious. Question: "Someday you'll see, if only through heaven's eyes". What does that MEAN? I mean, is it like the post-mortem version of It's Gonna Be Me? I honestly don't get it. "You'll see that I'm the one for you once you're dead, you bitch. But then it'll be too late. AHA!" I have yet to hear Babyface. I don't believe he's on here. I bet this is one of those mis-labeled MP3s.
To Nap or not to Nap: if you're into ballads, get it. Otherwise, give it a miss.
Come On Over (NSYNC w. Christina Agulara [sic])
I love bizarre Napster finds. Okay. This definitely Christina Aguilera, but this is a slightly different version of the song. I like it. Waiting for NSYNC to appear and fuck it up. Unable to hear male voices as yet. Wait. Someone just went "Whoooo!" That could have been Justin. I suppose. Wow, Christina can really belt that shit out. That was the end. NSYNC did not appear.
To Nap or not to Nap: I like it. I'm keeping it.
Bring it All to Me (Blaque & NSYNC)
I happen to like bad R&B songs, so I'm down with this. Of course, the real purpose of this exercise is to wait breathlessly for JC's UNBELIEVABLE verse:
Baby what's the deal
Would I be too forward
If I told you how I feel
That's just the way I do my thang
I'm so for real
Are you feelin' my Timbs, my baggy jeans, my thug appeal
Do you like it when a man can keep it real?
He gets to say other stuff, like "bring it on, bring it on", "diamond rings", and "There's not a single question that we can make this right 'cause it's you I need, every day and night", but his first verse is the best. Wow, he just cracks me up. I wonder if he has any idea how amusing that thug appeal line is? Classic.
To Nap or not to Nap: if you can ignore JC, it's pretty good. I won't be keeping it, however. I can't deal.
Overjoyed
It's live. It's so bootleg you can practically hear the chick's heartbeat as she clutches the recorder to her chest. The sound quality is so dire you can barely make out the song. It's so dire I'm unable to tell who they stole the song from.
To Nap or not to Nap: are you a sucker for punishment? Then you really need it.
I Believe in You (Joe feat. NSYNC)
This sounds like about a hundred other slow R&B songs. Someone harmonizes with Joe. It could be JC, but I'm not sure. Then they harmonize. They're just there to round out Joe's voice. C'mon, Joe, let 'em sing. Ah! There's Justin. Why am I not surprised that he got his own verse? Because Justin has SOUL, yo. He and Joe totally clicked, I'm sure. Oho! Justin has to split his verse with JC. JC sounds out of place in a song like this. He sounds too… white. Sorry, Josh. The harmonies are good. But they always are. That's what these boys do. The synthetic strings have to go. They're annoying me.
To Nap or not to Nap: we're told that this is going to be Joe's next single, so you could just wait a few weeks and it'll be all over MTV. I'm deleting it. Yawnfest.
That's the Way It Is (Celine Dion feat. NSYNC)
I hate Celine. Also, I'm absolutely sure that NSYNC is actually singing, because she introduces them, but you cannot hear them. No kidding. They just showed up to replace her backing singers who had to pee. Oh, wait. They get an entire second and half to harmonize on the final "oooh". That's it.
To Nap or not to Nap: please! Fools downloading Celine songs are singlehandedly responsible for most bandwidth problems.
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