Headlines for: 12-23-1999

Merry Christmas!

All of us at "Wireless Flash" want to wish you, your family and friends a very happy holiday season. There are only three days each year when "Wireless Flash" doesn't provide you with a regular daily feed: Christmas Eve,

ALIEN ABDUCTEE TEACHES E.T.S LINE DANCING DES MOINES, Iowa (Wireless Flash) -- Extraterrestrials may have superior technology but they have two left feet on the dance floor.

NEW KINKY CRAZE: NAKED WOMEN POPPING BALLOONS WHITTIER, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- If you thought humans couldn't get any kinkier, this ought to burst your bubble. The latest adult video craze is a series entitled "Bare

FDA NIXES `CANINE CAJONES' SURGERY BUCKNER, Mo. (Wireless Flash) -- The Federal Drug Administration has nixed the plans of a California man to have canine testicular implants surgically implanted into his body.

ABE LINCOLN'S GHOST ENDORSES PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE CROWN POINT, Ind. (Wireless Flash) -- An Indiana woman running for president of the United States claims she's the only candidate to be endorsed by Abraham Lincoln and Franklin

BRA-MAKER LOOKING FOR WORLD'S BIGGEST BREASTS CLEARWATER, Fla. (Wireless Flash) -- A bra maker in Clearwater, Florida, has found a titillating way to get publicity -- she's looking for the woman with the world's largest breasts.

FLATULENT PHANTOMS HAUNTING HOME TOILETS? WILDEMAR, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- The most private room in your house may be haunted by flatulent phantoms. That's the word from "Lady Brenda," a witch and ghost expert

MYSTERY SPOT: IT'S A BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF PREGNANCIES MINSTER, Isle of Sheppey, England (Wireless Flash) -- A mysterious plot of land in England is somehow helping infertile women become pregnant.

MAMMARY MASTERPIECE: ARTIST USES BREASTS AS BRUSHES COLUMBIA, S.C. (Wireless Flash) -- A female artist in South Carolina is putting her "breast" work forward by using her bosoms as brushes.

WOODSTOCK '99: A MIND CONTROL EXPERIMENT? LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- Here's one for the "I've Been Watching Too Many "X-Files" File:" a man in Los Angeles claims Woodstock '99 was actually a government mind control experiment.